tell tale babes.

curious, isn't it, how some people prefer the bliss of ignorance?

i am one of them.

i am, struggling.

so here this guy i just met at amk hub. he comes up to me when i'm on my headphones and literally is begging me to listen. figuring since i'm here waiting for scandal, i have the time, and he's prolly had a rough day, i took out the little buds blasting breaking benjamin. big mistake.

as if mummy hasn't stressed me enough about my non-existant life plan, this guy comes and tells me how stupid it was not to have a financial plan. of course, he was actually nicer than i made him sound, but it really WAS just hard-fucking-selling.

he didn't mean to, but he emphasized how big an ass i already felt i was at the moment. i should have a plan, i should have a schedule, i should have a time line, i should have a career strategy, i should be able to see the future like lee kwan friggin yew. i don't know why, i bought it.

now i'm sitting at some random coffee bean 20 mins later, still waiting for scandal, still having mummy's and the dude's words ringing in my ears. it's rather irritating, really. but i don't know what i want, i don't know what i'm aiming for, and i quite readily admit it. so i'm not as mature as many thought i was, with my making this "big" decision in my life to move out and start out paying my own bills earlier than usual in chinese families.

B.F.D.

why should i know, and why should i care? honestly, all this serious talk makes me feel indignant, but at the same time sends me on a guilt trip around the world. somehow i still am here, back at square friggin one, and i feel my life is so stagnant it makes me sick to the stomach. wait, i have moved on in my life. rather, other people don't see things the same way.. they don't see my changes, or they deem it to insignificant to be recognized.

i do love and respect my parents, i really do, but mummy and daddy i want to live by my own standards. i want to figure out what i want on my own, and on my own terms. i care what other people think, despite my inability to admit it at times. forgive me for that, if i've hurt you along the way(and i know i have.). regardless, this is my life and i live it the way i want to. really, no regrets so far, and i intend to keep it that way.

in essence, what i'm really trying to say is please bear with me. when the shit hits the fan, i want to be able to take it. just give me more time, i'll grow up.

eventually.

the number one joke i hear today.

SHERI I DON'T HAVE AN ILLEGITIMATE CHILD OKAY. SON AND DAUGHTER ARE ACTUALLY MAX'S NEPHEW AND NIECE RESPECTIVELY. STOP ASKING MUMMY FUNNY QUESTIONS. TSK.

goodness.

HAHHAAA.

this chaos, this calamity.

so much to do, and so little time.

got piss drunk yesterday, though i don't know why. maybe it was the bad mood, but the alcohol seemed much more potent than it usually is. could have been because nige didn't come, mervy left early, and a particular someone was a no-show. (nabei.)

to fill in the awkward silence, we played a game. at first it was 7 up, then it was up/down with cards. as you can see it was inevitable that boredom would eventually consume us all, so started the survey. or actually answers that i forced out of unwilling candidates. HAHAA WHAT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN.

ladies and gents, TEN THINGS YOU'D FIND ATTRACTIVE IN A GIRL.

in fact i'm gonna start a fucking series. check this out.


MERVYN says:

• be honest

for some reason, i don't know why this is one of his requirements. but i have to say i completely agree. be honest with the person you're sleeping with (or taking seriously, whatever.) because the repercussions could kill. 1, they snowball like loansharks' interest rates. 2, it's a waste of time. 3, you could be doing something more productive with your time. like having mind-blowing sex. 4, lies spoil everything you could have, so don't fuck it up when you have a chance.

• don't be desperate

lots of women these days seem completely contented with opening their hearts and vulvas up to every tom dick and harry, as if they were gonna miss the last train home. not good. brings me to my next point.

• have some class

hunni, having sex for pleasure is one thing, but adding some restraint can actually be good for whatever relationship the 'two' (subjective.) of you are having. stop calling every five minutes, and see where that takes you.

• don't be a prude

imagine you're a guy out on a date with a chick you've known for awhile but tonight is the first time you're actually going out and not at home on msn or whatever. you take her to dinner, have some wine, then sends her home. you lean over in the car for an innocent goodnight kiss and then she violently pulls back as if you were going to vomit over her three-hundred-dollar-dress, smacks you in the face and yells "what the hell are you trying to do! we've only just met lor!" what the FUCK? seriously.

• put in effort to look good

it doesn't matter if you look like patricia mok or friggin jessica alba. the fact is that nice clothes and some make up won't kill you and it always helps. plus it's a major turnoff if the opposite party is vain, which a lot of people are now. don't overdo it, but try wearing something other than a t-shirt, shorts, and havaianas. your date would greatly appreciate it.

• personal hygiene

if you don't shave/wax, please do. if you've got oily hair, go for treatment. if you're sick, go see a doctor. if you've got dirty nails, go for a mani. if you have fucking B.O. please stay at home. it's true, for some reason. give almost any average jane or joe a nice tan, whiter teeth, nicer hair, and some clean cuticles, they are well on their way to being gorgeous.

• don't expect the guys to pay all the time

money, everybody has some, so why not share? offer to pay sometimes, just because it's nice. you don't want to be people calling you a free loader anyway.

• have a sense of humor

picture going on a date with your pet goldfish. it's just there looking at you with it's huge ass eyes, but it doesn't talk, or do anything apart from nodding or it's mouth opening and closing soundlessly all the time. of course, men generally don't mind the mouth opening and closing, but a little interesting conversation would definitely keep them more interested. trust me.

• be somewhat demure

girl x. chews with her mouth closed, sits with her legs crossed, doesn't laugh like a hyena, drinks her soup, not slurp it, can carry a decent conversation, and can hold as much alcohol as she drinks. what's not to like, really. it's cool to let your hair down and be uncouth and all the when you're having casual fun, but if you're having dinner at equinox, i really wouldn't recommend having your right leg bent up and propping your chin.

• take initiative

it's funny how some girls i know expect the guys to think of where to go and what to eat and what time to meet, then complain about their day with sweetheart to their friends. having ideas and opinions are always a plus for me, so i have to concur with mervy on this one.


this took a lot longer than i thought it would. anyways, i have skid, lian and now, ash on the list as well, so yayy me, love me, and await my next post with bated breath because i am tired and will rest now. :]

life in the next.

today i went to the shurch i used to attend. 20 year anniversary. incredible, i tell you. the kids younger than me are almost fucking twice my height.

foreign pastor doodley was talking about the past, present and future. effective messae, on someone who is now a non-believer, but honestly.

"my future is not yet written,
but it will be.
therefore, my future is my history.
it is my LEGEND."

of course, he was talking about me and my as the church as a unit. me being ra, took it personally.

"my future is not yet written,
but it will be.
therefore my future is my history.
i am a legend."

i actually intend to make it happen.

stay tuned.

B.O.F.

blondie is so friggin handsome i could just eat him.

words, hands, hearts.

you're a fucking nazi. and you're telling people that you think that people believing the beliefs of people long dead is bullshit.

you're so fucking full of it. no wonder your mom thinks she deserves a better son. better person my ass.

on a different note, i sincerely hope MERVY feels better about life and other such things. because i don't like seeing my friends sad. hunni cheer up, we all love you luhh. i hope you know you can always talk to me. :]

recently got in contact with tiffy, ruffles, saito, mark, and other long lost people that i used to hold dear. what is it about people that pulls us apart, i wonder. regardless, i'm glad i did, and you won't believe me if i told you how very nice it is to know i was missed.

<3

wall-e.

the most romantic cartoon ever. where the only words spoken between lovers are directive, eva, and wall-e.

gifts and curses.

it's hard to find good help now nowadays. like it is to find sidekicks, and people who you can trust. even harder, is finding people who trust YOU.

humanity in people were supposed to be a gift. but somehow, intelligence has changed us, greed has us choked. we are no longer as innocent as we were created to be.

i have become so selfish, so wanting. why am i always thirsty? this hunger for attention, time and the other usual suspects never fails to put me in a ridiculous position where i have to choose between what is really important and what i want. usually i give in to my desires, rather than make the sensible decision. fully aware that the appetite is an insatiable one, WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT?

"to err is human,
to forgive, divine."

so the question is this.

is human nature what we were,
or what we've BECOME?

if you didn't know my lines.

absence of posts here have gone unnoticed, as usual, however - apologies, nonetheless. days of late, or rather, nights, have been filled with alcohol, mahjong, movies, chatter and uhm, flexibility(teehee.).

catching up with old friends has always been a pleasure, but rediscovering them never fails to make my day. thursday night was a blast. had dinner with half the the jukies/ momo's. CW's auntie-ness, i realised, i will never get sick of laughing at, no matter what my age.

i mean,
who the HELL
takes out
a fucking CALCULATOR
when the bill comes?

forgot what happened over the weekend, so i'll skip to tuesday.

chips with the clique with a fresh wave of old tension was as unpleasant as always. it's been a long time since i've seen mervy's face so black. nige and i were bitching as per norm, of course, but it really didn't feel the same. numbers dwindled as the night dragged, and mervyn went back to being his usual slutty self after "the thing that the wind blew in" left. finally came bestest and rosy, hours behind schedule but it was still awesome.

eventually, everyone died somewhere, and the three musketeers (nikki, rosy and i.) cabbed back to my place, where we continued to get high on limited edition black label. rosy and i had a heart-to-heart, while bestest had a nap. they left soon after, and i was fucking DEAD to the world.

girlfr didn't even notice,
she was having a 12-hour date with her MJ TILES.

(humph.)

slept almost all the way through yesterday, and woke up at 11 fucking pm. felt like a cheebye because i couldn't move without pain. called rosy to apologise.

yes, rosanne lee my newly turned bisexual best friend is probably in australia by now, checking out her new home. an "I'M SORRY LUHH. :(" goes out to her today, because i was not there to send her off last night. :[

woke up this morning to find that girlfr has won $450 from her mahjong session last night, and i'm impressed but still sick. god i hope my fever goes down soon. i really want to go out and watch "OBSESSED" with her. :]