smoke on the fucking water.

i've missed YOU.

D you have no idea, really. but sometimes, the things you say hurt people around you so badly you don't even know it.

this is not what being friends is about. but then again, explaining it to you is probably futile.

it's upsetting, really. i'm not mad, just incredibly disappointed in you. for someone who claims he lives by his rulebook, you look like you've broken more than one of your seven codes when it came to our friendship. how can i take you seriously anymore?

like i just told you over the phone, you don't call someone you haven't talked to properly in half a month and almost tell them to go meet you out of the blue just because you're alone and bored.

remember what you said to me when i told you that i was too tired after work to go to zouk one night?
remember how you got so pissed and said you'll never talk to me again?
and then remember the time when i called you to hang out and you were too busy trying to get the girl?

i'm not blaming her, but on your part just admit that it's a fact that you changed your entire lifestyle for her.

it hurts so much because i used to listen to you say how you detested people who started ignoring their friends just because of a girl. you said you'll never be one of those people who got "whipped". what do you say to that now?

remember when you blew me off two nights in a row?
when you said you'll give me a call the next day and conveniently forgot?
when you said you'll drop by on my birthday night and didn't?
when i called you and invited TWO of you over to have some potato salad i MADE and you were too tired?

when did i say anything to put you down D? i respected you and that's what brotherhood is about. i didn't judge you, and i told myself not to to be ridiculous and get angry over stupid things like that(unlike someone we know.).

but everyone, i remind you sir, has a fucking limit and you stepped over the line tonight when you asked:

"ra, come on.. why are you doing this to me?"

SQUEEZE ME? why am i doing this YOU?

you've changed. you're different from the cool dude i loved like a kid brother.

and all of a sudden, i realise.

maybe i never knew you as well as i thought i did.
maybe i never knew what you were about at ALL.

FIRE IN THE SKY!

11.

TESS: i'm with terri now.
DANNY: does he make you laugh?
TESS: well, he doesn't make me cry.

back to the basics.

so it's back to bartending for me, only now at palais. don't ask why, don't get me started.

but i do have to say just this. i've never felt more dispassionate about people in general before. i guess humans by nature all have the tendency to feel misunderstood.

we'll see how it goes from here.

(please, don't forget.)

why,
why can't we just remember who we are
forget what we are
and lose control

because in this craziness
we've lost everything
including ourselves.

up till 19 months ago, i never knew what it was like to be loved like that.

emo this sounds, but it's really a story of a blessing. one of the few i've had in life.

if i begged for you to stay,
would you let me bleed myself dry
and turn away?

workin' at the carwash, yeah.

WHAT AM I STILL DOING
HERE.

dearest Ms',

i strongly believe that everyone has kept their trap shut long enough and now is finally the time to break the silence.

your staff is getting very unruly. not in terms of appearance, or in terms of service, but more to the face that a whole bunch of people simply cannot get along.

my suggestion?

FIRE ALL THE FUCKING PINOYS.

thank you for your kind attention.

yours sincerely,
ra.