the weight of your words.

as a disclaimer, i have nothing against people who are on the heavier side. i am, however, sometimes peeved at how some people brush off the truth reflected in the mirror. so here it is, weight issues and what pisses me off.

fat people who do fuck all:
questions such as "do i look fat in this? I DO, DON'T I!!!", followed by incessant wailing, do not sit well with me. if you're that bothered, get off your fucking lazy ass and do something about it.

fat people who take dieting pills:
we all know you're cheating. nothing ever worth attaining comes easy and you bragging about how you got these amazing slimming pills (and at such a decent price!) does nothing to improve my perception of you. i'd honestly respect you more if you went through liposuction, because at least your figure came at the cost of money and pain. if all you're doing is going on the bloody pills, don't say you're on a fucking diet. stop lying to yourself and the people around you.

fat people who say they aren't fat:
the phrase "bones are for the dog, and meat for the man." only implies when you are curvy, it doesn't mean it's okayy to be fucking obese. if you want to die of coronary disease, go the fuck ahead, but don't use a perfectly good phrase as an excuse to continue horking down the pork pies.

fat people who say repeatedly that they're cool with their weight:
we all know you aren't. when a person is truly comfortable with where they are in their life, there is no need to publicize. i have NEVER met a person, truly confident, that feels the need to bring their weight up in every other sentence, just to demonstrate how they are not that insecure. if you say you being a size 10 is awesome, stop insinuating that you'd rather be a size 6.

that is all.

no more.

there isn't much to differentiate between us and animals nowadays, and it sickens me. all of you assholes, fucking preening, on a cock contest, a bid for popularity, is there any more meaning to this existance?

i am sick of this.

i have sat here idle, and i now realize my words are my best tools. it pains me that i also know now that there are some thoughts that are never meant to see the light of day. i.. i get angry. exhausted.

i've thought myself above reproach when it comes to matters of the heart.

today i find myself wrong.

too much, of too many things.

i have only just come to the realization that i have too many things i want to do. the only reason i am sharing this is because i think many people feel the way i do; lost, hopeless, drained and insecure.

i spent today being intimate with myself. don't let your dirty minds wander.. i mean that i had the afternoon to myself to reflect and meditate on what i have accomplished. frankly i am a 23 year old, starting her own business not knowing what to expect. while i feel inferior to many people, i don't want to forget what i have accomplished so far.

maybe i just need to calm the fuck down. i've been too hard on myself lately, or so i've been told. i have written here that being lost in life every once in while is a good thing, but what do you do when you can't find your way home?