chariot chaser.

so i've been bumming around for the last month or so. i quite miss having a job. i miss ps cafe. and it's at times like these that i curse the day a certain shade of yellow was born.

moving on, i have also begun to see that i'm getting very, very lazy. i'm sure boy would be appalled, but i am in fact hesitant about getting a job. not that i'm NOT in need of a paying time-chaser, but i am using the fact that school begins only a month away as an excuse to further deliberate and procrastinate deciding my next course of action.

some who know me know already by my constant bitching that my parents have not been very forgiving toward this lack of income, though they have not exactly voiced their concerns per se. it's come to a point that i'm even beginning to suspect that i'm delighting in this secret rebellious streak that tells me not to get a job, JUST SO i can piss them off more.

surely, many would say this isn't very wise, and i honestly couldn't agree more. however, i do believe that unlike a majority of twenty year olds, i HAVE paid my dues over the last three years and i deserve the flexibility of deciding to cut myself some fucking slack. at this point though i realise i might be losing some of the charm some of you might have falsely associated me with, but i don't really care.

ever the walking oxymoron, even i don't really know if i want a bleeding job. a chore it might be, but it supports my habits, which in turn, keeps me going. still, the responsibility a little bit of money comes with is quite astonishing and i'm not really sure i want to contend with that right now. even as the boredom is killing me (softly, slowly and surely.), i really don't want to put myself in a position where i go back to school and i have to quit because of my aunt worries it might interfere with my studying.

so world, how now brown cow? i do terribly hate being a total worry wart, but days like these really do stretch too long at times and allows you too much thinking.

know me.

good evening world, i have missed you.

have i told you how much better everything has been for me? it really is. everything's looking great.

only because you've been amazing. like the true friend you are, you never let me down when i need some solidarity.

and i don't think i've ever thanked you.

so, thank you. :]

the moirai.

clotho, lychesis, atropos. respectively means the spinner, the drawing of lots, and the inevitable.

in truth, i'm not much of a believer of fate. but the thing i love about these daughters of zeus and themis (which means "order" in greek.), is the concept of a system from which everything stems. think about it.

clotho who represents the beginnng of anything, good bad or dirty.
lychesis, the planner. who decided how much of anything who gets.
and atropos, the accomplishment, and the end.

unfortunately, all the attributes and faults i possess have lead me to believe that i'm mostly like clotho. going around starting things i know i can't finish by myself.

what the world's first alcoholics did.

dionysus, the god of wine and ecstatic liberation. the story of his life is truly fantastic, but of all the heart-rending tales of trial and tribulation, the life and virility he showed, and the misunderstandings he had to bear, this one truly takes the cake. since i don't have much to say, i can only hope you enjoy this as much as i do! <3



the demi-god (meaning, of course, he was birthed of a union between a human and a god.) was in athens, a tired, weary traveler. while wandering through the town, he meets this really nice guy named icarius, who just so happens to have a very pretty daughter who goes by erigone. the duo are very hospitable and they welcomed the god-man into their home.

entirely out of goodwill, dionysus decided one fine day that he would teach erigone and her father the art of wine-making to spread the love for the beverage before he left the. painstakingly, they started from tending to the vines, then harvesting the grapes, maturing their labour in barrels, and even packaging them after in wineskins.

icarius and erigone, having hearts of gold that they do, obviously decide to share. they gave them out to their neighbours and friends. what they forgot to do, however, was tell those who joined them in celebration, the effects alcohol tended to have on one's person.

daddy had the brightest idea one evening. when erigone left to go pluck some herbs on some mountain or whatever was girls her age did at the time, icarius decided he was gonna have a party. invitations extended to everyone in the village. the food was hastily consumed and the wine flowed. people drank and got more buzzed as the night progressed. the peasants, simple townfolk who honestly didn't know better thought the pair had fucking POISONED them.

oh horror!

in a fit of fear and anger, the drunkards clubbed poor icarius to death. when the nice man was quite dead, the folk decided he best be buried in an ulu (singlish for deserted) area. after squabbling for a bit they settled for mount hymettus as a suitable spot for a gruesome burial.

inevitably, erigone comes home to find her father missing, and god forbid any of those guilty would tell her what happened. the poor darling going out of her mind decides to go looking for her father, and takes along her best friend, maera, her faithful canine companion.

as the story goes she finally finds his corpse (the guys who buried him were probably still too intoxicated to do a good job at that point), and immediately loses it. she hangs herself from a tree just above his final resting place and maera, in her loyalty, jumps into a nearby well.

dionysus got a wind of what was going on in his absence, and when he found that his benefactors had basically just been murdered by stupidity, ignorance and other forms of pigheadedness, he flipped. he responded by inducing insanity in all the girls in athens and caused them to hang themselves from trees, just like erigone had.

the athenians realised that by this time the murderers had fled to another region dubbed delphi. in order to appease dionysus, they caught the bastards, brough them back from delphi and punished them duly for their folly. they later instituted a ceremony at the annual grape harvest in memory of the father and daughter, where little girls would swing themselves on innocent rope swings hanging from tree branches.

feeling somewhat better, dionysus decided it was enough for mourning so set about putting icarious, erigone and maera in the stars. hence they are now known to us as bootes, virgo and the dog-star (aka canicula).

THE END.

note to self: the next time i tell a story i shall do it in point form.

chipsters.

personally, i am getting sick of these defunct weekly meetings. much as i hate to admit it, the initial enthusiasm is beginning to wear thin. scratch that, has been played to death, i mean.

for those who are lost, i will try my best to explain.

years ago a group of us stumbled upon this place at cuscaden's, called chips. chips had a special, kinda homely feel to it. not surprising, as it's not much more than a hole in the wall. everyone knew everybody else and it's was always nice and comfy. another thing that we love about the place was that on tuesdays they had a ten-dollar-jug promo. which is exactly what it sounds like. as you can possibly imagine, in our early teen years, this is a teenage alcoholic's paradise on earth.

we basically LIVED for tuesdays, for the simple reason being we couldn't afford beer any other day. we started to meet there once a month (our bunch, i mean.), and it gradually turned into a weekly ritual. we'd save up six days a week to splurge on that molten gold every god-sent tuesday. most other kids didn't know about the place, it being relatively secluded and all, so we were in our own makeshift heaven for about a year or so.

unfortunately the word spread. now, the place is sadly overrun with kids who beg for a dollar from everyone they see at the bar so they can pool together money for a jug to split among the 5 of them. (depressing, but i kid you not.)

don't get me wrong, i absolutely adore the people i've come to know and love over the years. namely the band of amigos we've dubbed the indubitables. oh the fun that we've had and the nights of drunken adventure will most definitely NOT be forgotten. (in fact i'm counting on these guys to put together that embarrassing collage of videos and pictures that are now so popular at weddings.)

still, when i occasionally find myself trudging my way through the crowds that pollute orchard road towards chips, and i have to admit.. cutting back my visits to that place has been good for the love/hate relationship i have with it. now, it means that once every month or so i get to kick back on those budget chairs, have a few rounds or pool and alcohol with the boys and so on.

but really, anymore than that.. if anyone asks, i'm sick. (no, really. i am.)

love and other forms of recreation on a high.

today is supposed to be the day i go for my first interview, but i postponed that for the MDIS' open house, only to learn that it is, in fact tomorrow. D=

fml.


on a brighter note, will not post about yesterday (the best valentine's ever), but i will say this.

MY BOYFR IS THE
SHIT.

it's really at times like these you count your blessings and remember exactly why you are still sane in this crazy world.

till next!

p.s.: thanks again for the diamonds, butterbean!

when in doubt, wear red.

does that mean i'm all too sure of myself? hahaa.

it's currently almost 5 am. got up to pee and now i can't seem to get back to sleep, damn it. of course, now that i'm online, only means i have trilions of things to entertain me. but oh, if i could just get back to that dream i was having..

dreams. we all had some of those didn't we? i vaguely remember wanting desperately to be the next britney spears (without the scandals, of course. and with full intention of keeping my underwear on at all times.), stacy wanted to be an astronaut, sheri wanted and probably still does want to be a bloody vampire or something.. holly golightly wanted to find her tiffany's.

i think it's pretty safe to say that there comes a time for most of us when we decide to wake up. wake up and don suits to go to work, give allowance to the wife, feed the kids and pay the mortgage. most of us forget those dreams that we spent a lifetime in our childhood chasing. before we learnt to tell time and time gave us a awift kick in the ass.

my entire life, i've been telling myself to wake up and smell the coffee. that i have to

A) stop being a dreamer
B) stop procrastinating and get a real life where a decent job and family fit & basically
C) stop being irresponsible by running down an imaginary path

and all of a sudden, now, at 5 fucking am no less, an epiphany.

i don't want to go through life souless and wondering what could have been. i DON'T want to give up my dreams.

i mean, imagine if van gogh, marco polo or the beatles had given up! oh, life would be meaningless then.. and the world would be crammed with huts and two story houses if the egyptians told themselves building the pyramids was an impossible feat! and what if spiderman stuck to taking his photos instead of saving the world! why, he would never have swept mary jane watson off her feet!

but i digress.

refer to the title of the previous post. the story is simple and short.

picture, if you will, yourself waking up and going through your routine. mummy yelling at you to get out of bed and go to work. five minutes later the alarm goes off and you know you can't put off rolling out from under the cover anymore.

you get up, brush your teeth, a quick cold shower you hope will save you from wandering out on the streets asleep. you grab a coffee on your way out, and give your mom a dry peck on the cheek and mutter some incoherent promise to be home by 8 for dinner.

you're off to work. you go to the same job you've been at the last decade or so. with the at thought, you heave a heavy sigh and step out the front door.

neighbour in the lift. a mrs tay, or tan or teo or something. you give a polite nod but exchange no words whatsoever. she probably doesn't know who you are in any case.you're more interested in fiddling with your i pod, and she's preoccupied with her cat.

traffic is light, you notice, as you wait for the lights to change so you can cross the street. lights change, but before you get the chance to make it across the road..

a goddamn rouge ice cream truck slams into you and crushes every bone and organ in your body against some tree. and you die. (obviously.)

now, what does through your mind that nano second between the time when you get hit and the time you die?

assuming the time stretches out and everything happens in slow-mo like they do it in books and movies, i would like to think of happy things, great things that i've done with the people i love and care about. i don't want to regret my life, or wonder about how different i could have ended up as an artist instead of a constructer. me? i want to die knowing that i grabbed life by the balls.

sure, life in it's infinite irony ends in death. as many a cynic would say, we eventually all end up in the same place anyway. what difference does it really make? a painter, an engineer, or a scientist? but as somesone great once said, isn't it all about the journey, not the destination?

here's the lesson of today folks (and i'm only saying it now, because my fingers are cramping already!), what i want, essentially, is to announce at the top of my lungs that i'm not going to be afraid anymore. i'm done holding myself back from being the success i know i can be. inspirational this may not seem to you, but hell, it feels good to let it out. i'm going to follow my dreams. like mulan and pocahontas.

as the pirates say(according to pirates of the caribbean),

take all you can and give nothing back.

parable of the ice cream truck.

today shall be spent with the boyfriend. unfortunately, he has things planned and will be on the other side of the sunny isle.

QUESTION:

when he works so near to my home, is it justified that i feel a little annoyed that he didn't bother asking if he should come over to get me? or do i detect the first scent of the princess syndrome approaching?

in case the answer is closer to the second presented option, i really have to put this terrible thought out of my head.

sure, ladies out there like to feel pampared by their other-halves, and i am incresingly aware that some of my femanist airs are melting. however, i'm still a firm believer that when given a treat once in a while, no one should confuse gratitude with expectation.

really, it is a lot sexier that i can take care of myself and get from point A to point B without being ferried all over the place.. and if i recall, it's one of the (doubtless, many) reasons why R fell head over heels for me.

maybe i'm just getting lazy thinking about the ride from bedok to motherfucking sengkang. oh well.

HA.

ohh ra, a thousand and one excuses.

waterbonds.

interestingly enough, i can probably say that at this juncture, i'm officially whipped.

thanks for the love, fights, and laughs b.

ilytimesinfinitysquare.

happy 2 months and a day.

and all that jazz.

what's wrong with me mama?

god hasn't said yet baby.

strange how people tell you to look for beauty in the cruelest of places. but i suppose if grass can grow through concrete..

like how something as intangible as music, god, or love can be felt in the lightest touch, or lowest whisper. its not really fair, is it. if you come to think about it, how someone's defences that take years to build can come crashing down because a pair of beautiful brown eyes look your way.. and how your life can shatter in an instant because the same eyes that bewitched you turn cold.

but.

sometimes change, however unexpected or how unwelcome it is at that particular point, might in fact, turn out to be for the better.

moral of the story? take a chance. besides, what's life if you're not living it?

so.. nibblets?

AH YI: maybe your mother's going though menopause.
SHERI: really? i hope so.
AH YI: why?
SHERI: doesn't that mean the end of her suffering?

oh, and for a meet-the-parents' session, yesterday was a lot of fun :]