chariot chaser.

so i've been bumming around for the last month or so. i quite miss having a job. i miss ps cafe. and it's at times like these that i curse the day a certain shade of yellow was born.

moving on, i have also begun to see that i'm getting very, very lazy. i'm sure boy would be appalled, but i am in fact hesitant about getting a job. not that i'm NOT in need of a paying time-chaser, but i am using the fact that school begins only a month away as an excuse to further deliberate and procrastinate deciding my next course of action.

some who know me know already by my constant bitching that my parents have not been very forgiving toward this lack of income, though they have not exactly voiced their concerns per se. it's come to a point that i'm even beginning to suspect that i'm delighting in this secret rebellious streak that tells me not to get a job, JUST SO i can piss them off more.

surely, many would say this isn't very wise, and i honestly couldn't agree more. however, i do believe that unlike a majority of twenty year olds, i HAVE paid my dues over the last three years and i deserve the flexibility of deciding to cut myself some fucking slack. at this point though i realise i might be losing some of the charm some of you might have falsely associated me with, but i don't really care.

ever the walking oxymoron, even i don't really know if i want a bleeding job. a chore it might be, but it supports my habits, which in turn, keeps me going. still, the responsibility a little bit of money comes with is quite astonishing and i'm not really sure i want to contend with that right now. even as the boredom is killing me (softly, slowly and surely.), i really don't want to put myself in a position where i go back to school and i have to quit because of my aunt worries it might interfere with my studying.

so world, how now brown cow? i do terribly hate being a total worry wart, but days like these really do stretch too long at times and allows you too much thinking.