and i, don't know how to slow it down.

just to fill the spaces when the day seems as wasted as my heart.

on noise pollution.

the last three weeks, my void deck has seen an endless stream of activity. public karaoke contests, buddhist funerals, taoist funerals, malay percussion jamming sessions, and pretty much anything that involves noise that would raise the dead.

let me be absolutely clear - i have no intention of offending any members of any which community pocket. the vendetta i have is against public nuisances, not a race or religion. to paraphrase the great mj, it don't matter if you're black, white, yellow, brown or orange (if you're into the jersey shore skin cancer sporting look), keep it the fuck down.

i realize at this point that i'm sounding quite mean and insensitive, but be reasonable. the way things have been going, you'd think my block was the only one in singapore that had a bloody lobby. how would you feel if your estate was subjected to a near month of non-stop mardi gras? nothing against people being happy (or sad) too loud, but isn't that what community centers are built for? funerals and weddings, fine. but karaoke singing from 8 am to 10 pm at night?

COME THE FUCK ON.

perhaps i'm overreacting, but i've just about had it with these public disturbances. why people can't be a little more considerate is beyond me. is it really necessary for everything to be at full volume? for someone who works from home a lot, you can see how this would affect others like myself when we can't fucking hear ourselves think, let alone be productive.

in a society that is so diverse in race and religion, i think more sensitivity is required here than just the bare minimum. i know this issue has been done to death, but i still feel the need to say that regardless of how important these events are, the noise you create isn't just affecting you. it's not an enclosed area so please, try to be considerate.

with all the amy cheong hullabaloo came a wave of singaporeans stepping up and criticizing her insensitivity, and it was great to see. however, when it comes to the point where these finger pointers become noise makers themselves, it's disappointing that no one has actually said anything about prevention being better than cure. i think you see where i'm going with this.

so after all that's been said and done, here it is: after my short hiatus, i think this important enough to mention here, in hope that whoever reads this finds it in their heart to see that the world would be a much better place if we were all a little more gracious, considerate and accountable. my words may be hard for some to swallow, but it's really all in the name of love. acceptance, unlike tolerance, comes when people of different cultures present themselves in a manner that is cohesive with their surrounding environment. similarly, there is a time and place for everything. again, i say this with all the love in the world: take your shouting matches, singing competitions, skateboarding practices and excited screaming badminton-playing children somewhere else.

NOT. WELCOME. HERE.

remember, all the love in the world.

for the comfort i need today.

russell brand: GMTV IS A FINE INSTITUITION!
simon amstell: only because you've got books to sell and you'd fucking go anywhere to do it!
russell brand: -shrugs-
s22e05

-

during the intros round:
lorraine kelly: jarred, this is a chance to redeem yourself.
jarred christmas: okay.. it better be the happy birthday song.
stacey soloman: what's the intro to that? it's not like it goes da da da da haaaaaaaappy birthday.. you'll never get it!
s22e03

-

simon amstell: that's it?
russell brand: no!
simon amstell: two oppourtunities to mention me..?
russell brand: i wont have that!
simon amstell: didn't you like pop world?
russell brand: it was very very entertaining.. you did very well hurting those people's feelings.
s22e05

-


charlie baker: have you ever done any rappin josh
josh groban: no
charlie baker: i think you'd be excellent
josh groban: really?
charlie baker: yeahh excellent rapper!
josh groban: J-GRO
tinchy stryder: why j-gro?
josh groban: because uhh, i'm not sure if you caught it in the beginning. my name is josh groban
s24e10

-

tinie tempah: which of these two played a concert just for dogs at the sydney opera house?
chris ramsey: did they at least have their owners with them?
tinie tempah: couldn't just turn up on their own, could they?
s25e09

-

nevermind the buzzcocks really never fails to cheer me up. ahh the beauty of british wit and dry humor.

hugo.

so you live in a train station? you are not alone.

go back to the 1930's, where magic is still alive. hugo is the story of a boy with the gift of curiosity. despite the loss of his father, the dire circumstances of his existence do nothing to impair his ability to see beauty in an ugly world. this movie is proof that sometimes, the answers are right.

we're just asking the wrong questions.

8 out of 10!

note: this is also one of sacha baron cohen's better appearances, in my opinion. much as i hated the dictator and borat, it's appearances like this and in sweeney todd that save his soul from total and eternal damnation, methinks.

nebraska jones.

today finds me feeling rather mellow, slightly morose, with a tendency to over-dramatize things. for some reason, perhaps the restlessness of the week peaking, i got to thinking about how some things are so out of my control. i'm sure we've all been there.

what, then, is the definition of living? people cross the roads with caution, the same caution that they believe is the protective bubble that keeps them from bad things ever happening to them. does that mean we are all, in some tiny way, trying to play god? trying to control our teeny universes from imploding seems like a full time job. more so, it crushes the urge to experiment. ahh, the illusion of safety. personally, i question how much more of this mundane existence i can take.

not to say that i haven't stirred my fair share of shit in my teens. but what does that even mean? that because i've had fun in the past, i'm too old for it now? putting it out there like that makes it sound ludicrous i know, but isn't that basically maturity we take at face value?

maybe it would be healthy to discard the belief that the mistakes of our youth sometimes follow us throughout life. maybe that will somehow compensate for the emptiness that come with age because if nothing else, we've memories. maybe.

here's an idea. why shouldn't i be as wild as i bloody want? reason has got nothing to do with the fact that everyone needs an outlet every once in a while.

because every once in awhile it feels good to forget inhibitions and just get lost in life.

snapshots of society #1

so many people that should be shot.

so here is the text that was accompanied by the photo:

PARENTS ALERT!!!! Do you know what teen kids are doing online these days?

We discovered that many pri and sec sch students are active in a particular Singaporean-based facebook group with 560,000+ members and growing. Young teens would post pictures of themselves and invite strangers to "rate", whatsapp, sms, follow, add them on FB and chat up via other social platforms like twitter and instagram

on a DAILY BASIS.

Are our teens socialising and seeking attention actively without understanding the full consequences and ramifications on social media... Many leave their personal details in the open, like their mobile numbers, emails, facebook IDs, twitter IDs, instagram IDs.

Do you think we should be concerned?

PLEASE SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS IF YOU FIND IT IMPORTANT TO EDUCATE OUR YOUNGER GENERATION ON HOW TO PROTECT THEMSELVES WHILE SOCIALISING ONLINE.

while i see a cause for concern when kids like that leave their private information online for the world to see, i see absolutely nothing wrong with posting pictures and asking their friends to rate them. they are kids man, they obviously need the attention. more over, parents should be happy about the fact that their kids are home facebooking as opposed to snorting coke with worse company.

who are these busybodies that keep posting such things anyway? while berating kids for posting pictures that aren't compromising in anyway, making a collage of their photos is somehow going to make things better?

honestly, singaporeans. it's about time you guys start learning how to pick your bloody battles.

the phantom deconstructed.

all because beauty is an unhealthy obsession of mine.

epic or what??? finally, one doesn't simply violin into mordor.

yes i did. more later.

cos everybody digs a swingin' cat.

so here's the original version of one of my favorite musical numbers of all time,

EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE A CAT

you know it's true. anyways, pick your favorite!

like how sexy is that? or maybe you'd prefer a lean, mean man-child, with a mesmerizing voice, and wild hair.

haa. maybe an acapella quintet would be more suited to your taste?

or maybe a version sung by four of the same man?

not bad aye. but here's my personal fave! presenting the brian setzer orchestra!

whoever sang this, i wouldn't mind having your babies. meow!
(edit: i just read this, and obviously, this is brian setzer.)

black.

black follows the transformation of a blind, deaf and dumb child as she blossoms into a woman who's soul once knew nothing but darkness. thanks to her teacher, guide and guardian, she learns what strength means.

yes. bollywood. MINUS the singing and dancing.

while many have knocked it, i love the movie for it's honesty, so raw, it kind of chafes you in a way. then again, brutal honesty does that sometimes. while the storyline itself is poignant, what really sold the movie for me was the delivery. apart from the brilliant casting, the incredibly realistic portrayal of their individual characters can only be described as sheer genius. the message was not only conveyed, but put across in such a way that you are aware that the protagonist could very well have been you.

bear in mind, this is not a movie about the tragedy of birth defects, but rather the transcendence a human spirit is capable of. it is not a sad movie engineered to garner sympathy for people handicapped in anyway, nor a movie to create awareness of their "plight". more so, black serves as a reminder that there is is always hope, and that hope, however small, in whatever situation you are in, is worth holding on to.

9 out of 10.

the legend of 1900

tim roth has always been one of my favorite actors, but this is just too, too beautiful. the poetry of this cinematic adventure leaves me speechless and partially blind, due to the bawling i am still partaking in. not a sad movie by any standards, but touching and incredibly heartfelt. (get the tissues)

music lovers, there is an added incentive for you bunch as well. the music is all original art, save for "silent night", works by roger waters, amedeo tommasi and of course, ennio morricone.

by tommasi, i present to you my favorite track, magic waltz.

i know right. ladies and gents, 10 out of 10.

the poor are getting poorer.

something about this song just really turns me on.

doubts today.

"there is the fear factor..

the fear that i will never be satisfied

with anything i achieve

because if i achieved it,

it can't be that difficult to achieve.

the fear that i will never reach

what i believe is my full potential

because i am disillusioned about the potential

of my full potential..

i fear that my karmic lesson in this lifetime

is humility.

i fear that lesson is beneath me.

i fear the future."

in the eternal words of sam harris' jest, lie the truth of today's society. so thought of the day is this: how long is fear going to cripple life? fear holds us back. fear is doubt, and doubt is death. the skies really are as blue wherever we are at whatever point in our life as that somewhere over the rainbow.

dare to dream. live long and prosper babies.

now you know you know it.

while i've pretty much been in my hole working my ass off, the world outside my little cave has been thriving on without me. what i've come to learn over the last few days is truly disturbing. kindly view exhibit a:

even to my some of you who may not be from singapore would see that this is obviously offensive. i note this and whole-heartedly agree. as some of you know, i am dating a member of the here targeted muslim/malay community. this does nothing to ease the irritation and discomfort with the remarks so off-handedly cast by miss cheong and miss tan.

of course, singaporeans everywhere are enraged that some fool would be so callous in a multi-racial society such as ours. again, i feel no different. how we dealt with this information, however, is a totally separate matter.

over the last two days, cheong has lost her job due to her insensitivity, and her company's eagerness to prove they aren't all bigots. BOTH tan and cheong alike have been flamed like crazy over the likes of facebook and twitter. (observation: more chinese people are sticking up for their malay compatriots than angry malay people demanding cheong and tan's heads.) up till now i've merely provided information, but the real question here is, how much of this anger is necessary?

to be honest, while the racial and religious aspect of our culture here is a sensitive one, people sometimes take it too far. while cheong and tan have obviously crossed a line here, it's a fact that we are all offensive at one point or another, be it a personal attack or a blanket judgement on a whole community.

take me, a 22 year old with a multi-racial social circle. i readily admit that i haze my friends about their race, among other things, from time to time (those that are comfortable enough in their own skin, of course. i'm not completely tactless.), much like they make fun of my chinky-ness. this does not mean that we discriminate, it's just a manifestation of our opinions projected in a sometimes offensive manner. while that is nothing to condone, it's not something to overreact about.

at this point, most of you are wondering if i think that being overtly expressive, ala cheong/tan, is okayy. the answer is, of course, no. but to be publicly persecuted as such, to the point of causing someone's loss of income, is a bit too much. some of you may argue that by posting such comments on such an accessible platform, they're asking for it. just a thought: no one asks to lose their job, or for a break up, or for their candy dropping on the floor. bad things happen, but some of them we happen to have control of.

what i am so trying so desperately to say is that, people, get real. there are always going to be idiots who are going to be opinionated. what i believe the solution to be is simple. just ignore them. these are obviously cries for attention, so why enhance their drab lives by giving it to them? our very hope in telling these morons off are that they will stop feeling this way. much like a parent tells a child to be an engineer rather than the next britney spears.

lesson:

a fool may be worthy of his namesake,

but he still deserves his dreams

and reserves his right to his opinions.

ahh well.

another way to look at it, i suppose, is that nothing more can be done. let's just hope they have the good sense not to reproduce. of course, seeing idiots are what they are, they probably don't know not to do that.

parting thought:

credit my weak heart.

inspiration of the day is the lovely amy winehouse. another star who has gone, but sure as hell not forgotten.

to me music has not only been something i can appreciate, nor just a solace, but closer to religion. the love for it has always been so pure and single minded, and most importantly, unconditional. honestly, how many people can you say you feel the same about?

when i was younger, i made poor attempts at poetry and music and discovered that i am absolutely terrible at it. still, it never fails to cheer me up when i look at the sloppy compilation and think to myself "what a crock of shit.". on hindsight, i am surprised that that alone didn't deter me from taking opportunities to learn from, listen to and grow with music.

with that-

we were evergreen - penguins and moonboots

amy winehouse - valerie

tony bennett & lady gaga - that lady is a tramp

the clash - london calling

tegan & sara - light up

just jack - starz in their eyes

r.e.m. - losing my religion

babyshambles - delivery

take that - patience

clara c - fish

being a new-age romantic.

only in the mentalist. sighhhhhhh.

kimball: what are you doing here?
summer: i want my job back.
kimball: no.
summer: you know i was handling that situation just fine today until you busted in. i need this job kimball. i've given up everything else. why would you take this from me?

(summer smacks the papers he's holding onto the ground.)

kimball: because you're crazy!
summer: yeah? what're you gonna do huh? hit me?
kimball: no. that's what you want.
summer: what?
kimball: that's why you kept pushing murphy today!
summer: what're you taking about?
kimball: you get off on danger summer. you need it. it provides a distraction for your unhappy life.
summer: screw you kimball! you know you're not so hard to figure out yourself!
kimball: oh yeah? what'd you figure out?
summer: ..nothing! and it's driving me crazy! who are you?

(elevator dings)

kimball: look i gotta go.
summer: no. no no no not until you give me my job back.
kimball: move.
summer: you fired me because you like me. you like me and you don't know what to do about it. just admit it!
kimball: okay i like you.
summer: ADMIT IT!

(summer slaps kimball)

summer: oh. i'm so sorry.. you do?
kimball: can i go now?

(summer jumps on him and they make out like teenagers with raging hormones)

tim kang you sexy bastard.

the lesson of raymond k hessel.

"full of life" is an expression we often hear.

today it struck me, as it sometimes does, how words have lost their meaning.

for example, the aforementioned phrase is most often thrown around in the face of death. the worst part of it is, you hear it from people who have the least connection to the deceased as well as the most. i do not understand this. how is it that every one the person came in contact with, however briefly, all came to the cohesive conclusion that he/she was "full of life"? also, why wait till his/her death to appreciate her full-of-lifeness?

still, i suppose.. when i die, i want to go knowing i've lived excessively. (though what that constitutes, is entirely another matter.)

i guess sometimes a person's presence just isn't as important till their absence.

brilliant movie by the way.

HAHAHAA.

found this on facebook. music lovers, enjoy!

 

 

'C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors," and E-flat leaves. C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second."

A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor and sends him out. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and shouts, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated, comes into the bar in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says: "You're looking pretty sharp tonight. Come on in. This could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat takes off his suit and everything else and stands there au naturel.

Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar.'

just about gordon ramsey.

watching the short series "gordon ramsey behind bars", just about the man devoting half a year to the local prison in brixton.

gordon goes in there and picks 12 men and attempts to get them off their lazy unproductive asses, and cooking to give back to society. the numbers fluctuate due to two inmates being pulled off the program, and three being released during the process of shooting the series and all throughout, the challenges he faced with his team are tear jerking.

it's only 4 episodes long, and it can be found on youtube. should any of you get as bored as i sometimes do, please check it out. shall leave the link of the first of the 4 full episodes here.

no angel, but the man has the heart of a saint.

Heros live on.

Just watching a documentary on hbo signature about Michael Jackson.

Since I could remember, I've been in love with this man. And really, how can anyone resist? His love for his art, his professionalism, his integrity, his gentle heart, and his passion for humanity has never been clearer than now. Of course, when I first discovered the joy his music I was about 4, and all that I knew about him was that he could dance and sing like no one else.

While the guy has had his outrageous moments (and really, who hasn't?), so much tragedy in his life was unwarranted. Kind of makes you think about whether or not the price of fame is really worth it.

Regardless, I wish to say that MJ is gold. He is and forever will be my hero. The person that I've wanted to be since I was 4, a person who didn't let anything keep him down. I'm proud to say I'm a fan-girl for this god, and will never let anyone make me feel bad for him being my first love.

fuck all them haters.

not the second after or before.

today is urban ears day at work.

breaking my week long silence with a post about somethings that i don't get in/about social media.

1.

#wtfisthis
#fuckyeah
#imsohungrynow

DOES THIS LOOK FAMILIAR?

now i understand hashtagging in twitter for actual words. does anyone actually know how this phenomenon came about? according to wiki, this form of identification in chatrooms, and then became a form of micro-posting/micro-blogging and emphasis. still, on facebook? has no one yet realized that facebook does not support hashtags as metadata?

gahh. and i thought i was slow.

2.

YOLO.

what the fuck does this even mean? is the statement not short enough for you lazy bastards? for those of you who are as clueless as i am, YOLO stands for "you only live once" and is now used by hipster wannabes as an excuse for doing very stupid things. you will see it's appearance in conversations along these lines.

"dude im so drunk typing in caps hurts my head.. drinks later though?"
"mother of god, john was just talking about getting a tattoo on his penis!"
"i know i've only known him for three weeks, but should we get married?"

and the reply to all these idiotic proclaimations would be

"WELL YOLO MUTHAFUCKA."

(this does not stop the facepalming and regret the following morning.)

3.

word-shortening to the point of causing major confusion. for example, what the hell is "feels"? as in:

"whoever from wherever is so hot and and and, oh my godddddddddddddd, the feelssssssssssss!"

???????????????

enough said.

sorry sheri, it was the best example i could think of hahaa.

4.

while i all but drool over the korean men, it is a fact they make horrendous dramas. in fondant garden, a taiwanese/korean hybrid that reduced me to tears only 92 times, i have to admit half of the 16-episode series are flashbacks. also, what is up with the roundabout storyline? i swear, every bloody korean drama is like turn-left-turn-fucking-right. (k-fans should know what i mean.)

other things that aggravate me:

• why are all then men so hot and all the girls so average looking?
• why are the girls too cute and all the men too perfect?
• why is it that all villains have redeeming factors so it's impossible to hate them?
• is it actually possible that a cake can be made from scratch in 15 minutes? if not, why are they made to order in this drama?
• what's with the koreans being dubbed over in mandarin and the taiwanese being dubbed over in korean? why? WHY?

sighhh feeling frustrated all of a sudden. korean drama hotties, why are you all too good to be true?

shall be all for today then.

SIGHHHHH.

have been trying to be good, hence spent my weekend watching all 16 episodes of fondant garden.

PARK JUNG MIN I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES. (just kidding zymmie.)

i know, i should be shot.

a truly unhealthy obsession.

happy raya celebrations everyone!

to all my muslim friends, please be on the look out for greedy little buggers going into random houses to collect money. they usually operate in groups, i am told.

hahaa told you i'd blog about this! (you know who you are ;])

on another note, have decided to abstain from alcohol the best i can. giving up an addiction is always painful, but i, genius that i am, have decided to simply replace it with something else.

namely:

DAFUQ?

he's prettier than i am! (and that's saying something.)

sighh.

let me.

seriously. can't stop.

i can't control.

this has got to be the most boring day in the office so far.the intern's term officially ended last week and so now whenever i'm in the office, i'm all by my lonesome. ohh well.

would love to blog about something profound but am out of ideas for the day.

chips and coke for lunch!

surely someone else must have noticed!

where the fuck..

ARE HER EYEBROWS???

brave,

was awesome.

that is all.

she loved to watch the sun go down.

haven't been posting with pictures or videos because i have been too lazy to do so from the iPad.

on the playlist today:

bryan adams - please forgive me

bon jovi - always

ronan keating - when you say nothing at all

guns n roses - november rain

richard marx - hazard

sting and the police - every breath you take

aerosmith - i don't wanna miss a thing

toto - georgy porgy

booked tickets to BRAVE tomorrow. now hate the online booking system for shaw with a vengence. also, why are movie tickets in singapore so ridiculously expensive? seeing how the government wants to keep kids off cigarettes and alcohol, should they not be making other recreational activities cheaper? this only makes sense to me, apparently.

anyways. shame the boyfriend can't join us, but in general, can't wait!

i know. i know.

what with all the k-pop hype with the freshest wave by psy, i revisited my guilty pleasure.

it really irritates me how their legs go on forever, and they look so good in those stupid tiny shorts. it irritates me even more that i know i'll never look like that in a million years. also it grates my nerves that knowing full well that envy is the my worst enemy, i nit pick and find little flaws. but most of all i absolutely hate how i cannot stop watching them because they're SO FREAKING CUTE.

you may laugh.

When it gets so be a little too much.

Today sees me in a somewhat melancholic state. Thank goodness for small wonders like the boyfriend's kindness, the bad dialog in Michael Jackson's music videos, a sister's loving support, and the silence of an afternoon's reflection.

While the days of late seem to be the worst ever, I suppose that events such as these are the ones that determine who we become. Read on Facebook that when life seems determined to crush you and you wonder where god is, remember that the teacher is always quiet during the test. Obviously, I'm not the religious sort, but it stuck me that there is always something you learn from the experiences and trials we endure.

Really does remind me that even when I'm falling apart at the seams, there are the still things to be so grateful for. To all the people in my life, thank you for the quiet support you offer, whether you know it or not. As for me, rest assured I won't be defeated by what seems too much to handle. To quote Joey "you are my Everest.". While i am aware that he was saying that to a cooked thanksgiving turkey, the message still applies.

Then some days are meant for tears.

It's amazing that it took all of 22 years to realize that there is really nothing quite like life and death to put things in perspective. To be honest, I think that I have never felt this way. There is so much I'd like to say to so many people, but most of the time I'm just too scared.. That's normal, right?

Still, in light of the very personal incident that occurred today, I suppose it's pretty understandable. Even more so with all the drama that has been going around lately. I have never been so un-calm in my life, which is weird.. I think that in the course of everything that has happened so far.. Well, the second world war looks far less of a disaster, at least from where I'm standing.

More tomorrow. For now, sleep.

The Olympics!

I shall never again watch the olympics. Well, never the table tennis tournaments at very least. As a Singaporean, it's really hard to say they're not throwing the matches just because they're foreign talent. And after that I feel like shit. It's hard to forget that they're people too. That they are as susceptible to pressure and fear as the rest of us.

Kind of wonder what it would feel like if I were in their position.

Mother and I were joking about us forming a mother-daughter team for synchronized swimming. I then said we should include my two younger sisters and she said no. When asked why, she said "Because you're as short and as pudgy as I am. OH OH WE CAN PRACTICE WITH CLOTHES PINS ON OUR NOSES."

I have never been so amused, mortified and offended in my life.

Really do have to lose weight.

Haven't been blogging the last few days as I have been really busy, and also because I have been leaving my laptop at the office for convenience's sake. It really is a horrible thing to lug around all the time when you're tired and hungry.

Watching a bantam match now on the telly (don't I sound so terribly English today?) and am wondering what the hell bantam is. What the fuck is bantam? Looks like boxing to me. Shall remember to google later.

As this remains the rantings of an extremely tired, uninteresting, average young lady, I shall refrain from too fancy a goodbye, as I'm too tired to care, and it's not like anyone reads this anyway. Ta!

one doodle that can't be undid.

it's quite possible that im burning out. why is life so exhausting?

hello august.

nothing, today.

i know i know. it's about time i grow up.

BUT OHH, TAMAKI

<3333333

always buzzin.

gotta love the transition in the beginning. sighhhhhh.
MARRY ME MR MAYER.

by the way, is it just me or is "FML" seriously overused to the point of being fucking annoying?

whatevs. did not go to the office today and am slacking off at home like a boss. this, however, does not mean that i did fuck all today. here is my list:

- laundry and dishes. done.
- watched 3 movies in a row. (the illusionist, the descendents, ray.)
- thought about blogging about ray, which is a totally brilliant work of art based on the life of ray charles.
- did not blog about ray.
- thought of going for a run. thought.
- went for dinner at bedok with the boyfr.
- hung out at some random pavilion like a construction worker.
- came home.

also, what's with fucking 12 year old girls going clubbing half naked these days? does this bear any relation to ongoing inflation? random thought.

rakin' in the chips.

it's been awhile. i've decided today that i shall be disciplined and blog everyday. even if it's a short one. here goes.

woke up to pee in the early morning, then went back to bed. had a coughing fit and couldn't sleep. tossed and turned and finally managed to drift off to dreamland, only to be jerked awake 15 minutes later. god really does have no sense of humor.

got to work for a god-awful meeting with a god-awful woman. i rapped out loud during the meeting because eminem came on the radio. i did not know that i had done so until i saw the mortification on my bosses face.

the day needed some spicing up anyway.

ohh and this has been stuck in my head:



live long and prosper!

probably the most repulsive woman ever.

i hardly ever blog like this, but here goes.

 

meet shirley phelps roper, a woman so vile there are no words that could do her message justice. one of the key leaders in WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH, which preaches not just that homosexuality is wrong, but openly tells the world that homosexuals themselves should be killed. i cannot believe this woman. she's motherfucking incredible. take a look.

unfuckingbelievable much?

i've been trying hard to keep from swearing too much on this blog but people like that just make me so angry! mother of GOD. and the worst thing is i can't stop now, because her insanity is just morbidly fascinating.

the anchorman got it right when he said she should be ashamed of herself. talk about forcing unwanted things around someone's throat, shirley, you're doing it right.

and so are you michael moore!

as an additional titbit, as in wikipedia:

"She is married to Brent D. Roper. They have 11 children. In a 2007 UK documentary by Welsh personality Keith Allen, in which Phelps-Roper and some of her children agreed to appear, Phelps-Roper is shown admitting on camera that her oldest son was born out of wedlock. Allen found hypocritical Phelps-Roper's vocal condemnation on strangers having sexual congress outside of marriage while she herself was guilty of the same. According to Kansas City's The Pitch, Phelps-Roper doesn't deny that her son Sam, who was later adopted by Brent Roper, was born out of wedlock but refuses to reveal the identity of his biological father."

like, wow.

for the love of nancy.

yeah and if everyone boycotts mega stores and/or supermarkets, how many will go hungry again?

get real. it's not a cause, it's just life.

slowly, seeping from the bone.

the blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. the mean reds are horrible. suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. do you ever get that feeling?

- holly golightly

(breakfast at tiffany's)

had a fight with my mom today, which is never ideal. i suppose today is just one of those days. drab, flat. nothing sits right, my hair is annoying the living hell out of me, and i feel like gross-sobbing for no reason at all.
 
there are, however several things that make me feel better. coffee & cigarettes, soundtracks from the musical CHICAGO, and probably most surprising or all, stacy's blog.

while i'm usually never in the mood to feel inferior in terms of writing flair, the comfort her words give me is immeasurable. on days such as these, i sometimes think her mind is really the best place to be. it's almost like escaping into another personality, running away from here; wherever here is.

(PART OF) TODAY'S PLAYLIST:

tegan and sara - love type thing

kings of leon - pyro

cary brothers - blue eyes

the white stripes - walking with a ghost

bon iver - skinny love

feist - moon my man

coldplay - a hopeful transmission

john mayer - neon

temper trap - resurrection

M83 - we own the sky

junkie xl - broken

to healing, maybe.

gotta have it all.

hello all. something amusing i found on the boyfriend's page when i was bored. just so you all know, it's an old quiz he did years ago, not that im a stalker. i just seriously had nothing better to do with a saturday afternoon.

here goes!

My kind of babe ♥

1. Do you need her to be good looking?
♥ Yeah!!

2. Smart?
♥ Yeah. A degree would be nice.

3. Preferred age?
♥ Around my age. No cougars.

4. Preferred height?
♥ Not too short.

5. How about sense of humor?
♥ A must-have.

6. How about piercings?
♥ Tongue piercing is hot.

7. Accepts you for who you are?
♥ Yeah.

8. Pink hair?
♥ Hahahah no.

9. Mushy or no?
♥ Yeah.

10. Thin or fat?
♥ Sexy hourglass figure (:

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
♥ White but not too pale.

12. Long hair or short hair?
♥ Doesn't matter.

13. Plastic or metal?
♥ What's this? Recycle bins?

14. Smells good?
♥ Definitely.

15. Smoker?
♥ Better if she doesn't. It's unhealthy.

16. Drinker?
♥ Just don't get laid.

17. Girl-next-door type?
♥ Maybe.

18. Muscular?
♥ hahahah no way!!

19. Plays piano?
♥ Come and melt me.

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
♥ I FIND THIS EXTREMELY HOT!

21. Plays violin?
♥ Any instrument is cool.

22. Sings very good?
♥ Yeah. We could duo.

23. Vain?
♥ She'll look more beautiful if she doesn't know she is.

24. With glasses?
♥ Nerdy looks isn't that bad.

25. With braces?
♥ As long as she smiles.

26. Shy type?
♥ Not too much.

27. Rebel or good girl?
♥ Half of each.

28. Active or passive?
♥ ACTIVE!

29. Tight or bomb?
♥ Uhmm both?

30. Singer or dancer?
♥ Both!

31. Stunner?
♥ Hahah yeah!

32. Hiphop?
♥ Only music. No big tees and bandanas.

33. Earrings?
♥ Of course.

34. Ms. count-my-ex-boyfriends-until-you-drop?
♥ Mhmm... Nope.

35. Dimples?
♥ Swweeeeettt (:

36. Bookworm?
♥ Novels not textbooks.

37. Ms. love letter?
♥ She'll be soooo romantic.

38. Playful?
♥ Sure. Just know when to stop.

39. Flirt?
♥ Flirt with me.

40. Poem writer?
♥ Aaawww....

41. Serious?
♥ When she have to.

42. Campus crush?
♥ Okay.

43. Painter?
♥ Artistic girls are the sex.

44. Religious?
♥ Not really.

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
♥ Hahah sure.

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
♥ Once in a while is okay.

47. Speaks 20 languages?
♥ WOAH SURE!!

48. Loyal or faithful?
♥ Both.

49. Good kisser?
♥ OMG YEAH!

50. Loves children?
♥ loves cuddly babies

I find girls carrying guitars and going to gigs super hot.
But who doesn't want a supermodel? (:

hahahahahahahahahahahaa! apart from the obvious smoking problem, the fact that i dont do love letters or poems much, or that i dont have a degree. i think im pretty much it.

lucky you boyfr, lucky you. ;)

if this bottle could talk.

a week or so ago, i cleared all outstanding friend requests on my facebook account. what prompted me to do so, i really cannot say. apart from the annoying prompts i do not know how to turn off, i suppose boredom was a contributing factor. anyways, since then i have deeply regretted this moment of stupidity, as my newsfeed is now a sea of people announcing their lunch times, their period pains and other mundane things that to the world. (and people ask me why i drink.)

perhaps i am the only one who feels this way, but i highly believe this to be close to impossible. honestly, i cannot imagine -


- how someone else wouldn't know it's thursday
- why someone would care if you got out of bed from the right or left side
- why you eating pringles for lunch would be cause of interest
- you saying you're pissed and providing no further information is expected to garner replies of sympathy

for the love of god, what has become of us? is it possible that with all the advancements made in the last 2 centuries, humanity has devolved?

in all seriousness, i do admit that the freedom of speech promoted nowadays on easily-accessed platforms has prompted the majority of retards that exist among us to step forward and take advantage of it. however, should there not be some form of filtration programmed, especially into social network forums? for example, how google search corrects your spelling with a self righteous "did you mean...?", i am quite serious about inculcating that practice with every site that is promoting friendship with strangers. after all, it is an all-for-one scenario.

in short, the betterment of people everywhere is at stake here, the main concern being influence. as we all know, 10 year olds are as technologically savvy as any 35 year old picked off the street. wouldn't it be nice if the next generation of successors weren't as exposed to stupidity as they are now? the amount of garbage online, on tv, in the papers and on the streets are quite enough to reduce a perfectly normal three year old's IQ to a single digit score.

i have long accepted that rome wasn't built in a day, and there is no way all forms of inane bullshit will be kept out of our everyday lives. i am merely hoping that somewhere, someone influential will get to this very in-your-face blogpost and wake the fuck up. i don't know if right now, i'm blogging to make a change. what i do know is that, should the mental capabilities of my fellow singaporeans continue to deteriorate in the next five years, i'm moving to mars, if necessary. (of course, assuming that maybe 50 or so people retain a high enough IQ to discover if it's possible.)

we are golden.

turning 22 has probably never hit me harder than the last two days. much unlike the turning of 21 has not in any way affected me, monday holds a sense of inexplicable sense of impending doom. probably because at this point i realize it's now or never that i actually grow the hell up.

like i told the boyfr a few days ago, paying for shit doesn't make you a grown up, it just means, in all likeliness, you're probably a kid that happens to be paying for shit. while of course, there's the factor of being coerced to be considered, but if there's anything i've learned from moving out at the tender age of eighteen, it's that acceptance and mere tolerance are two very different things.

fortunately for me, lots of good things have been happening, so that kind of takes the edge off things. apart from the amazing crib, incredible bed-mate, cool landlord (there, cheng.), delightful job which comes with the money and colleagues, there's really nothing more a girl could ask for at this point.

with that in mind, i'd like to confess that much as i'd like to think that i'm all grown up and have no time to indulge in childish escapades of drunken stupors, it has come to my attention that no amount of denial will ever feel as good as hanging out with a select few awesome people, letting your hair down and getting drunk off your tits. simply put, that's pretty much how i'd like to celebrate successfully making it to my 22nd year of life alive.

to many more years of debauchery, friends.

till we go.

in light of recent events, i would like to address the issue of freedom of speech today. unlike my usual style of attacking no topic in particular while blogging, a particular occurrence has, along with pissing me off royally, has highlighted the narrowness of mind in number of people.

if a promotional poster is posted on facebook, an open social network, on the internet, which is a free-for-all media platform, do i as a passerby not have the right to comment on it as i please?


for example:
is it just me or is the girl standing there damn extra?

the response, which i will not go into, was completely unwarranted. but like, she bloody is, isn't she? without any malicious intent whatsoever, i'm basically saying that the appearance of this very pretty young lady is well, redundant as she serves no purpose at all. essentially, i'm not saying that the effort put into this little project was inadequate, more of the commenting on the overall inefficiency of the poster.

constructive criticism, learn to embrace it bro.

moving on, i have learned that nyancat, the internet phenomenon of yesteryear, is actually a pop tart slash cat that shits rainbows. not that's this is breaking news to anyone but me, of course. regardless, it just strikes me how shit as irrelevant and logic defying can ever become such a hit. of course the cat wasn't alone. it had the likes of rebecca black, aaron tan, steven lim and hosehbo for company.

le sigh.

never fails to amaze me, pop culture. how the most inane, vapid things can be a overnight sensation while things that are actually note worthy go unnoticed.

ola, world!

perfect for the too-hot morning. not that i would know, i was still asleep then.

speaking of, had the most incredible dream last night. must have been that episode of MISFITS that i fell asleep to. really, the most erotic thoughts pop out of bloody no where. have been enjoying myself tremendously with the abovementioned series, and credit should be given to KIM P and my baby sister, both of whom share the responsibility of introducing me to a brand new addiction. but i digress.

zee, this is for you. <3

this house.

warmth, do you too choose
to elude me?
perhaps, in my delusion
that one should never
fear loneliness
i am alone.

in that case, i am incensed
by your outright mockery.
do you not know what this does to me?

tonight, like every other
i stayed up awaiting your return
and as always,
amongst lit candles, in high heels and perfume,
i remembered that you never once disappointed in keeping away.

no more of this, please
i choose to rid myself of this want.
maybe in solitude,
i'd find myself much safer
wrapped in the certainty of it's presence.

cloches de mariage!

the very very handsome ryan and his gorgeous bride, rachel! t'was a lovely, glamorous event that was enhanced by the incredible company. and by that i mean the whole telco division at st andrew's.


so saturday saw me all decked out in what sheri has decided to dub "the slutty chinese outfit". i for one, see nothing slutty about it. if anything, it's CLASSY, thanks very much. but that's just my opinion of course.


on another note, the boy and i were set to match, like every other cheezy, cliched couple effort. worked for us though hahaa. took a number of photos and i think they turned out quite well. for your viewing pleasure:

with jerry, the boss-man.

totally gatecrashing their team shot.

the men of zyfe.

drunks of the round table.

during the course of the night, watched the tear-jearking montage of the wedding couple's earlier years. the adorable photos brought to mind the numerous weddings i have attended in the past, how they are always more or less similar. while i've always envisioned that i'd age gracefully and alone, i kind of pictured that should i ever get married, it would be something a little less like the traditional singaporean chinese wedding.

hence the little outburst of laughter when i remembered cheng's slightly racist joke. as the boyfriend is malay (void decks apparently being the favored location for a wedding), and i am chinese (hotel ballrooms being ours), in the event of a proposal, cheng predicts we reach the compromise of being wed in a hotel lobby.

amusing, but no.

the food was alright, even though i got chided for indulging in ngoh hiang, a traditional chinese meat roll that includes pork. most of my meal consisted of alcohol, which any member of my family would tell you, is pretty much the norm. cigarette breaks also served to break up the session of pure gluttony, which is good.

should the boyfriend and i progress to that stage in our relationship, i'm going to make a terrible muslim.

ahh well, another worry for another day. most importantly,

dayum we look good together.

with words.

hello all, it's been awhile. also, forgive the odd hour. have a bit too much on my mind to go to bed and drift off to a fitful few hours, hence my presence here. and when i'm here at this ungodly hour, we all know a rant is in order.

first off, the job front isn't looking too good. while sales and marketing has always been a passion i always envisioned myself pursuing long-term, i really don't see how it's going anyfuckingwhere at the present moment.

which is driving me absolutely INSANE.

to begin with, as i have explained to my very patient seniors, i do not understand why i'm not doing as well as we all hoped here. i'm smart, eloquent, decent looking and i have a knack for getting strangers to like me. why i'm not highrolling is utterly beyond my comprehension. aforementioned seniors have chided me, saying it's not always what you say, but how you say it. i completely agree, perhaps it's my delivery of the message that's a problem. but it really shouldn't be THIS hard to rectify, should it?

mon dieu.

second, things at home are getting crazy and yes, boys and girls, another stretch away from home is in the making. so see, it's perfectly understandable that i'm feeling uptight and snappy, no? apart from the obvious deprivation of funds to support my needs and wants, comes the never ending migraine called rent.

as if that's not enough, singtel has been being a cunt and my phone bills have, for some unknown reason, decided to sky rocket.

problems are easy to fix on a short term front, but in the long run, the solutions themselves are bound to affect me negatively as well. so here's the dilemma, the fast fix, or the highway to hell? because let's face it, i'm going there either way.

through this all, i have to say there has been one last remaining comfort i have to lean on. the boyfriend has been incredibly supportive and is steadfastly determined to keep me happy and safe. so in his case, recognition is due and is now rightfully given.

"it's not about how you feel about him,

it's how he makes you feel about yourself that matters most."

and i've said, you make me want to be a better person. thank you baby, for things you don't even know you do that change me.
iloveyou.

and this makes 70.

so today started out with a conversation with ZKF over the phone at 11 30. due to me still all a-slumber, the memory of exactly what transpired during the length of the short exchange is somewhat blurred. fret not, as i later recalled that the dear boy had called to make plans for the day and to town it was.

(excuse the ah lian-ness of it all, but photos or it didn't happen, right?)

we met at tampines then headed off to town in search of shirts, pants and shoes. of course, because we are what we are (easily distracted), a major detour was caused by: a short gaming session, 5 dollar cups of fries, 400 grams of famous amos cookies, a bottled whiskey soda, and a hilarious discussion about the color of garbage bags. by the time the knights assembled, boy and i decided we had better get the show on the road and get started with our treasure hunt. hence, the departure, and the marathon began.

yes. marathon. i shit you not. we were hunting a grand total of 2 bloody hours before the first goddamn purchase. everyone who knows me is aware of the fact that i, sarah tan xin yi, hate shopping with a vengeance. however, today was exceptional and i am not one to refrain from making allowances.

hours of walking around, holding hands and sneaking kisses were the focal point of our hike and to be completely honest, i really enjoyed it. from cineleisure, we journeyed to somerset 313, to paragon, to ion and finally wound up at far east for the highlight of the day.

in total relevence to the title of this post, i hereby announce that i have just repierced my tongue. according to melvin, the gentleman who did the deed, i should avoid oral sex, french kissing and seafood for a month.

(unglam, but proves the stud is where it should be.)

WHAT? NO SEAFOOD?
sweet jesus mother of nancy.

concluded the day with dinner at 9 pm, had soup (resulting in current fits of uncontrollable HUNGER) because the tongue was, and is, for some reason swollen and hurting like a camel just stepped on it. i say this because there was hardly any pain the first three times, so the discomfort is pretty new.

ohh well.

to summarize, the day has been nothing short of spectacular. a great way to spend the off day and like i've been reassuring you readers in my previous posts, i really have never been happier.

(just because we're the cutest couple.)

to zee:

thank you for everything, and i hope you know the impact you have on me. like i've said before, as far as feelings go, nothing matters, save for the love we share now. cheesy as it is, i really do mean every word of it when i say you're zymazing and i can't imagine my life without you anymore. regardless of the idiotic things i say or do on occasion, which are completely unintentional, i hope you know that all that i really care about is you and how i can make you happy. forgive me for being the little stupid i am, and let's make this work.

ps: i'm really glad i could change your mind zymmie. xxx

pull your little arrows out.

according, to AARON TAN, one of the youtube "sensations" to grace our beloved international video sharing platform, i am very very pretty. not that i disagree, mind you, but the stroking of the my picture on his screen is tres disturbing. needless to say, the boyfr is not amused, feels rather disgusted, and is making death threats under his breath over the phone. (all in jest of course, fret not!)

assuming you want to know what all the hooplah is about, you are, of course, provided the option of fast-forwarding to the 9th minute if you, like me, cannot stand his nonsensical rantings in no particular language at all. (ask on the tagboard should you require translations.) i have to add that this is purely coincidental and was through no fault of mine. i do not know this guy at all, and quite frankly, have no intention of ever having the pleasure of declining his extension of friendship. hopefully the boy leaves me well alone.

at this juncture i have no idea whether to feel greatly flattered or just plain mortified. like the sister suggests though, shall just "take a ride on the fame train". wonder how long THIS will last then.

stay tuned for updates, as always. should the lord be kind, perhaps you folks will have the privilege of viewing my virgin video post!

sexy and we know it.

hello all. meet ZKF, my man.

there isn't really much to say, except that i am blissfully happy and fully intend on staying that way. i'd share more, but out of fear that i will thereby cause uncontrollable bouts of projectile vomiting, i shall refrain.

more soon!

shallow pools and puddles.

work is going great, along with other things. if you're accessing this page via facebook you'd probably have noticed the status update prior to this link. for those of you who have no idea what im talking about, it goes like this.

"so the cat's out of the bag. that is, of course, assuming it was ever in there in the first place."

apparently, the whole world knows that im seeing someone at the mo. while the situation is precarious, i have to admit it's a huge fucking relief. everyone who knows me am aware that i positively ABHOR keeping bloody secrets. you won't believe how stressed out i was during the course of this ordeal.

on another note, i am utterly devastated. according to z, my blog is tres boring. how can this be? i am ONLY the most amusing and interesting person i know! le sighh, i cannot believe that i am, of all things, BORING.

to remedy this, im going to ask for suggestions from readers of this blog for topics. tell me what you want my opinion on and i'll gladly oblige. tagboard, as always, is open.

till next! xx

maintaining radio silence.

hello all, apologies for the absence.

this calls for a quick rundown of what has happened since i've last blogged, no? since the 2nd of january, i have gotten a fulfilling job, found a new family of colleagues, partied and fallen in love. quite simply put, an interesting 3 weeks have passed and i've never been so at home in a long long while.

to all those who have been wondering how the book is coming along, i regret to inform you that i haven't been as diligent as i first imagined i would be. a bit of leeway, however, is in order as my working hours have since been extended to a full 14 hours a day. the days are long and the nights are longer, hence i do expect your sympathy. not to worry too much though. i've been writing less, but regardless, i am more or less on track to finishing by may, and hopefully publishing by july! (yayy me.)

on another note, apart from the usual bossa nova and jazz, i've been listening to a lot of dubstep of late. not one of the usual suspects, but i have to admit i'm enjoying it an awful lot. must be the influence.

DUBSTEPISWUBWUBWUB.

anyways, enough for now. more tomorrow after work, promise. xx

the unconventional sort.

so i haven't been diligently blogging of late, and i hope you will all excuse me. nothing much has been going on and i haven't been out much on account of the mumps. jack's swollen saliva glands, to you fight club fans.

it will please you all to know that i have completed THE LIST, with the sole exception of watching scarface. on to the next, i've been getting questions regarding my resolutions for the year. many of my friends are quitting their vices, smoking, drinking and so on. however, these are the things that i, at this particular juncture in my life anyway, cannot imagine living without. so instead of making my own checklist of things i will not do, here are some of the things i pledge to do more this year.

• speak french
• look up old friends
• make new friends
• hang out with old and new friends
• work
• laugh
• live

straightforward it may all seem to you, but in my experience, this already is a tall order. in the past year, i have not lived up to my expectations and as a result am feeling pretty shitty. i suppose a change in this aspect will do me good.

as you all know, i haven't been in a relationship since tee, which marks the three month mark. friends and family know, this is groundbreaking news, and i have reached a milestone that hasn't been close to approached since i discovered the joys of physical and emotional intimacy since i was 11. still, this is also, i have to admit, a nice change of scenery. it feels awesome ushering in the new year with no exccess baggage, because lord knows, i've had enough to carry in 2011.

so even though new years have never been a big thing for me, here's to 2012, a fresh beginning. may the world not end, and us all be happy. till next!