BATTLE OF THE SEXES.

OVER CAKE.

this is no fucking joke.

on monday, the first of february, 1900 hours, douglas tseng and i will be eating ourselves to death at ps cafe, dempsey, as we attempt this amazing feat.

(first to consume the monster wins 50 bucks.)

i repeat, this is the double chocolate fucking blackout cake and this is definitely no fucking joke.

be there or be square.

off and on days.

last few months have been harrowing, and ive not been meeting everyone as much as i'd like to. all my time has been consumed by work, and i hardly have the strength to do anything properly on my off days. however, sometimes when i push myself into doing things and it eventually proves it worthwhile.

like dougie and i on saturday. :D (a very wtf moment it was!)

or like cheek and i last night. but the only thing that made it worthwhile was the incredible single malt whiskey that we drank. HAHAA KIDDING LUHH I LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE.

i need more time to chill like this with my friends, family, girlfr.

24 hours are not enough, yes?

p.s.: scandal i miss you like a peeing drunk dude. we'll hang soon okayy!

if it's not enough.

btw, reasons i love my scandal is because she's fucking adorable please.

two of the five things she has to do before she dies:

1. ride a horse. not just any dumb ugly horse. it has to have music sense and clipclop to my tempo. like those really well-trained horses they use in equestrian.

2. milk a cow. not just any dumb fugly cow. it has to have black and white patches. and the white has to be pure creamy white and not yellow-stained-with-urine white.

HAHAA WHAT THE FUCK HORSE AND COW ALSO HAVE TO CHOOSE HAHAHAHAHAHAA.

evan i love you. <3 in my case, the question is not what on earth am i doing here, but what on earth am i going to do here. the tragedy of this is, i can't think of a single goddamn thing i have to do before i pass. two ways to look at this, because i have no direction whatsoever, and because nothing is good enough for me. who the fuck invented crossroads, i'd like to know. c'est la vie.

the face inside is right beneath my skin.

it feels like i'm fucking aging, but still somehow stay so young. my failing ability to react to sudden changes, but how the excitement never gets old. how i could get used to something beautiful but never allow it to last.

i am only worth as much
as what i can destroy.

how can i be such a contradiction?
(and i used to pride myself on that. HAHAA.)

you know, i expected so much more than this. it's come to a point where the world's stopped spinning and i suddenly feel like i'm the only one alive. but what for? maybe i need to start asking the right questions.

WHY, GOD.

i stand here all alone,
and i can see the bottom.

i cut my fingers on the way.

bulk of yesterday was spent like this. basking in the glow of a lost and found friendship.

scandal,
I HAVE MISSED YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH.



so, during my long leave of absence, i really haven't accomplished much (how typically ra, i know.), but at this point in time, i can't help but feel so enriched by experiences of the past year. seeing all the turmoil and whatnots that i've been through, it's not strange that friends come to me and say that i look so much the same, but somehow am so different.

now the question would be,
is that always a good thing?

today's blueprint of plans were somewhat ruined by me, and girlfriend isn't very pleased. or maybe she's just dissatistied with everything, just as i sometimes am. for some inexplainable reason, i feel so disconnected from it all when things like that happen. when i wake up to her talking on the phone, then yelling the house down after she's hung up. is this really my fault?

wait, i forgot. everything that's happened lately is my fault. everything wrong with the world has got something to do with me.

btw girlfriend, i can read chinese.
so don't go around liking stupid things that you think i don't understand.

omg i'm ranting again. resolution one, quit whining about anything and everything and nothing. HAHAA kidding.

oh yes, as a happy fucking new year present,

BEHOLD EVAN'S GINORMOUS BOOBIES.