if you don't know me by now.

i am a woman, far from feminine though. i enjoy long periods of devil-may-care-ing, but have been haunted by my own thoughts many a time. i've been told that i have flashes of brilliance, but am also the victim of incredible stupidity.

with regards to my talents, there are none i can think of, but there are many things on which friends and foes alike compliment. i have a strange way of accepting criticism and praise, not to say i don't take any of it to heart. easily distracted, but hell-bent and relentless when i am hooked on something.

i'm a lover, and do not discount the fact that i am also a fighter. i'm tough as hell, and i hate any sign of weakness (which includes crying.), but also have a tendency to break down at the slightest thing when i can take it no longer.

capable of eating like there's no tomorrow, it's strange that i have never (as far as i can recall anyway.) had a single craving for anything sweet. i have never been on a diet, but would probably rather choose death over cellulite. still, i'd sooner consume a double cheese burger than a cup of low-fat yogurt. i love exercising, the more strenuous the better, but would rather die than wake up five minutes earlier than i have to.

i don't shop, unless it's for shoes. and even then, i'm usually out in half an hour. i drink like a fish, and have blessedly never had a hangover in my life. i love music and still want to pursue it as a career, but have long since given up that fantasy of becoming the next culture icon.

i find myself wishing i could change my past sometimes, but have no desire to have any knowledge of my future. i believe in fate, but also in a man making his own destiny. i have this thing where i want to know everyone, but want to remain in complete anonymity. still, i want the people around me to know and love me for me. the irony is that the only thing standing between that and the way things are now is myself.

i am incredibly open about the way i feel about things, regardless of how politically correct they are, and wouldn't stop my tongue even if i could. but then again there are things i would never expose about myself, even to me. hesitancy is not in my nature, and i act as if i choose the consequences of my actions. everyone has regrets and i am no exception, but for the fact that life is about going forward and not back, i would probably have crawled back into my mother's womb and stayed there.

the entirety of it is this: i have acknowledged that i am here now, and know i won't be in five years. i have been, am and will be changing. you may know me now, but friendship fades fast when you're out of touch. all it comes down to is that you don't need to know everything. if you love me i will reciprocate, simple as that.