this entire situation is quite surreal. i realized two days ago that nothing is real; none of this joy, sadness or pain. perception is truth, something i used to say a lot and more importantly, believed in. the journey that i've been on the last few weeks (read: years) has brought me to a singular conclusion, that nothing can be absolute. there isn't a single thing that i previously believed in, when i was still enlightened i mean, that has been proved wrong. the trivialities of life have since weighed me down.
as a person, i've backslided. i've disappointed people around me, as much, if not more, than i have disappointed myself. the worst part is that i've known this for ages, but have done absolutely fuck all about it. the reality of this hit me hard two nights ago, and i've been in a state of reflection ever since.
things come and go. so do feelings, people, and circumstances. i'm just here, left to do the best i can in whatever way i know how. i don't want to be stagnant. i want to keep learning.
i want to be better.
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