following your joy.

so a few days ago i gave a random stranger in a cafe a note that said hakuna matata (well, put it on his table as i was walking out) because he looked sad, and today, the story has already come full circle. if you ask me now why i did what i did, it really was because this song was playing and it made me happy. i suppose i wanted to try and get someone else happy too.

while it's good to hear that something so simple could have made someone's day better, it just makes me wonder how scarce acts of kindness have to be for it to spread as quickly as this. it's not that people don't have it in them, surely. it really doesn't take much effort or time.. and even if it did, it really is worth it you know.

people really should be nicer to one another, methinks.

nothing, today.

i know i know. it's about time i grow up.

BUT OHH, TAMAKI

<3333333

cloches de mariage!

the very very handsome ryan and his gorgeous bride, rachel! t'was a lovely, glamorous event that was enhanced by the incredible company. and by that i mean the whole telco division at st andrew's.


so saturday saw me all decked out in what sheri has decided to dub "the slutty chinese outfit". i for one, see nothing slutty about it. if anything, it's CLASSY, thanks very much. but that's just my opinion of course.


on another note, the boy and i were set to match, like every other cheezy, cliched couple effort. worked for us though hahaa. took a number of photos and i think they turned out quite well. for your viewing pleasure:

with jerry, the boss-man.

totally gatecrashing their team shot.

the men of zyfe.

drunks of the round table.

during the course of the night, watched the tear-jearking montage of the wedding couple's earlier years. the adorable photos brought to mind the numerous weddings i have attended in the past, how they are always more or less similar. while i've always envisioned that i'd age gracefully and alone, i kind of pictured that should i ever get married, it would be something a little less like the traditional singaporean chinese wedding.

hence the little outburst of laughter when i remembered cheng's slightly racist joke. as the boyfriend is malay (void decks apparently being the favored location for a wedding), and i am chinese (hotel ballrooms being ours), in the event of a proposal, cheng predicts we reach the compromise of being wed in a hotel lobby.

amusing, but no.

the food was alright, even though i got chided for indulging in ngoh hiang, a traditional chinese meat roll that includes pork. most of my meal consisted of alcohol, which any member of my family would tell you, is pretty much the norm. cigarette breaks also served to break up the session of pure gluttony, which is good.

should the boyfriend and i progress to that stage in our relationship, i'm going to make a terrible muslim.

ahh well, another worry for another day. most importantly,

dayum we look good together.

and this makes 70.

so today started out with a conversation with ZKF over the phone at 11 30. due to me still all a-slumber, the memory of exactly what transpired during the length of the short exchange is somewhat blurred. fret not, as i later recalled that the dear boy had called to make plans for the day and to town it was.

(excuse the ah lian-ness of it all, but photos or it didn't happen, right?)

we met at tampines then headed off to town in search of shirts, pants and shoes. of course, because we are what we are (easily distracted), a major detour was caused by: a short gaming session, 5 dollar cups of fries, 400 grams of famous amos cookies, a bottled whiskey soda, and a hilarious discussion about the color of garbage bags. by the time the knights assembled, boy and i decided we had better get the show on the road and get started with our treasure hunt. hence, the departure, and the marathon began.

yes. marathon. i shit you not. we were hunting a grand total of 2 bloody hours before the first goddamn purchase. everyone who knows me is aware of the fact that i, sarah tan xin yi, hate shopping with a vengeance. however, today was exceptional and i am not one to refrain from making allowances.

hours of walking around, holding hands and sneaking kisses were the focal point of our hike and to be completely honest, i really enjoyed it. from cineleisure, we journeyed to somerset 313, to paragon, to ion and finally wound up at far east for the highlight of the day.

in total relevence to the title of this post, i hereby announce that i have just repierced my tongue. according to melvin, the gentleman who did the deed, i should avoid oral sex, french kissing and seafood for a month.

(unglam, but proves the stud is where it should be.)

WHAT? NO SEAFOOD?
sweet jesus mother of nancy.

concluded the day with dinner at 9 pm, had soup (resulting in current fits of uncontrollable HUNGER) because the tongue was, and is, for some reason swollen and hurting like a camel just stepped on it. i say this because there was hardly any pain the first three times, so the discomfort is pretty new.

ohh well.

to summarize, the day has been nothing short of spectacular. a great way to spend the off day and like i've been reassuring you readers in my previous posts, i really have never been happier.

(just because we're the cutest couple.)

to zee:

thank you for everything, and i hope you know the impact you have on me. like i've said before, as far as feelings go, nothing matters, save for the love we share now. cheesy as it is, i really do mean every word of it when i say you're zymazing and i can't imagine my life without you anymore. regardless of the idiotic things i say or do on occasion, which are completely unintentional, i hope you know that all that i really care about is you and how i can make you happy. forgive me for being the little stupid i am, and let's make this work.

ps: i'm really glad i could change your mind zymmie. xxx

sexy and we know it.

hello all. meet ZKF, my man.

there isn't really much to say, except that i am blissfully happy and fully intend on staying that way. i'd share more, but out of fear that i will thereby cause uncontrollable bouts of projectile vomiting, i shall refrain.

more soon!

shallow pools and puddles.

work is going great, along with other things. if you're accessing this page via facebook you'd probably have noticed the status update prior to this link. for those of you who have no idea what im talking about, it goes like this.

"so the cat's out of the bag. that is, of course, assuming it was ever in there in the first place."

apparently, the whole world knows that im seeing someone at the mo. while the situation is precarious, i have to admit it's a huge fucking relief. everyone who knows me am aware that i positively ABHOR keeping bloody secrets. you won't believe how stressed out i was during the course of this ordeal.

on another note, i am utterly devastated. according to z, my blog is tres boring. how can this be? i am ONLY the most amusing and interesting person i know! le sighh, i cannot believe that i am, of all things, BORING.

to remedy this, im going to ask for suggestions from readers of this blog for topics. tell me what you want my opinion on and i'll gladly oblige. tagboard, as always, is open.

till next! xx

the unconventional sort.

so i haven't been diligently blogging of late, and i hope you will all excuse me. nothing much has been going on and i haven't been out much on account of the mumps. jack's swollen saliva glands, to you fight club fans.

it will please you all to know that i have completed THE LIST, with the sole exception of watching scarface. on to the next, i've been getting questions regarding my resolutions for the year. many of my friends are quitting their vices, smoking, drinking and so on. however, these are the things that i, at this particular juncture in my life anyway, cannot imagine living without. so instead of making my own checklist of things i will not do, here are some of the things i pledge to do more this year.

• speak french
• look up old friends
• make new friends
• hang out with old and new friends
• work
• laugh
• live

straightforward it may all seem to you, but in my experience, this already is a tall order. in the past year, i have not lived up to my expectations and as a result am feeling pretty shitty. i suppose a change in this aspect will do me good.

as you all know, i haven't been in a relationship since tee, which marks the three month mark. friends and family know, this is groundbreaking news, and i have reached a milestone that hasn't been close to approached since i discovered the joys of physical and emotional intimacy since i was 11. still, this is also, i have to admit, a nice change of scenery. it feels awesome ushering in the new year with no exccess baggage, because lord knows, i've had enough to carry in 2011.

so even though new years have never been a big thing for me, here's to 2012, a fresh beginning. may the world not end, and us all be happy. till next!

just general awesomeness.

• to get a JOB.
• to sort out self. (somewhat, anyway.)
  
• clean desk.
• re-colour-code wardrobe.
• get down to putting up corkboards in room.
• install bloody blinds on window looking out into living room.
  
• to slow down on the alcohol intake.
• ditto for the cigarettes.
  
• to finish my book.
• to finish reading everything in my house twice.
• to stop checking emails every 15 minutes.
• quit the facebook addiction.
• quit stalking kim hyun joong (the one and only korean sex god.) online.
• quit stalking ANYONE online.
• watch scarface.
• and all my favourite classics.
• revisit old blog and fish out sexy lines, if any.
  
• getting over tee.

HAA.

and of course, the darling who actually did all the work.

THANKS SAM LOVE YOU VAIR VAIR MUCH. <3

electrify these boys and girls, if you'd be so kind.

alcohol was the what, le noir the where, and who comprised of everybody who was somebody. yes ladies and gents, i am now divulging the details of my latest binge.

predictably, the night started out slow, but picked up pretty quickly, all things considered. and then i spied with my little eye either a moving da vinci sculpture, or just a very handsome man, during the auction held for the benefit of under privileged children in the spirit of christmas. more on that later.

made a new friend by the name of claudie almost immediately after the charity auction (hosted by a chubby looking venetta lopez) ended, and wound up staying in her company the rest of the night. she's an insane dancer and well, just generally insane.

as the night wore on, the crowd got progressively louder and more rowdy as per the norm. enters, at this point, afore mentioned attractive specimen of the opposite sex. what was puzzling was that he appeared to be dancing (quite poorly) alone. i was as flustered as a secondary schoolgirl and was THIS close to hyperventilating. eventually, we had a dance together and i realized he was quite a prick. remind me again, WHY i insist on checking out "club property"?

but that's okayy. claudie and i were enjoying ourselves plenty and it was nice hanging out with a girl for a change. danced the night away and came home tired and worn out. a night of debauchery has been a long time coming and it's been ages since i have genuinely enjoyed myself like that. t'was a good night!

as a side note, readers of my blog should have realized by now that there are some changes to the layout. tag board's up, and thanks to a friend's suggestion, i am now a nuffie. ive increased the number of posts per page so it'll be easier to keep up with what i've been up to.

as a favor, leave your mark on the tag board, please. it would be nice to know who my readers actually are. i refuse to believe that the numbers consist of 5 friends who check out my page a hundred times a day each. thanks and lots of love.

xx!

never enough time.

met with BAK and started the yesterday out with him at PS Cafe at harding road. some bites and three glasses later, bak went home and i proceeded to PS Cafe at palais (yes it was a day for visiting.) to down a glass of champers. huang was there and she comped me the alcoholic beverage, but when i went to thank her and say hi, she was just as always, outrageously rude. ohh well.

hung out with RUSSLY and JBS at the dodge bar in the basement of ming arcade for a bit and when 10 rolled around, i was pretty smashed up. decided to head home, but surprise surprise, got a call from tee and we decided to meet up. told him exactly what i thought about him and i suppose all in all, it went well. shall not elaborate, but will say it ended amicably and all is not lost.

got home around 12 30 and contemplated the true meaning of love. i used to be pretty sure of the definition but it now all seems so abstract. be it with someone who is convinced he loves me, or someone i have feelings for, the innocence of playful courtship have gone together with my secondary school days. like everybody else i know, i end up second guessing the next person's intentions. which brings me to the next question of what happiness is, or rather, if i will ever get to experience it, and if i do, would i know?

my life has been sectioned off, categorically defined by who i spent that time with. i wonder if any of those men remember me and how. if we were still together, would we have been happy?

and random thoughts like that filled my head, it was only when i remembered what it is always like in the beginning that i stopped feeling sorry for myself. i suppose everyone has their days and whatnot, but i absolutely refuse to continue moping. besides, i have had my moments of extreme happiness. problem is, at this point it's just hard to keep them close. reminiscing is more than recreation, it can also be a tool for comfort. now that i have come across this revelation, i'm spreading the love. happiness, however fleeting, is meant to be held close and dear. i wont waste time being sad anymore, i promise.

live long and prosper!

for all the boys i've helped mother.

the right to be wrong.

after 2 years of absenteeism, someone i met completely randomly made a huge comeback. surprise, surprise, we got on famously.

a customer at ps cafe, and me being their humble waitress, SONG and his two friends used to come regularly and chill where i used to work. after serving them once or twice, we somehow established a connection. not the oh-my-god-i'm-in-love kind, just that the mutual admiration for each other's wit made us fast friends.

the last i saw them was back when i was piling plates at dempsey, and when i left for palais, i thought i'd never meet them again. and then last night happened!

was stranded last night, all by my lonesome and with no where to go. was texting song and he suggested we meet. said yes, and we agreed to meet at punch. HAHAA, at the string of events that followed.

had my usual dirty martinis on ice, and decided to go to st james with song after. met his group on insane friends and had the time of my life. apart from the buffet of whiskey, beer and cognac consumed, i honestly haven't laughed that hard in fucking ages. lost my shoes somehow and sweet, sweet song took his off and let me wear them. considering it was raining yesterday, it was an extremely touching gesture.

all in all i have to say that he was totally opposite from what i expected. just goes to show that you can't judge a book by it's cover. this really could be the start of something beautiful, don't you think?

love.

it's never been easy to leave an unanswered question hanging. at least not for me. from the time i was 4 till now, it's been a part of my nature to ask, question, revisit, and dig. lecturers never liked me very much, but mostly because (i presume), they think my queries are too frequent and annoying. didn't matter, since i discovered google.

tonight saw me frolicking amongst strangers, good looking ones i might add. but all in all a most uneventful night.

of course, there was the meeting up with jbs and russly, two founding members of the very first chips gang. but then, as always, we drifted apart, mostly my fault i must say. but i had more than one place to be, as bloody usual.

went to le noir, where i usually make my weekly appearance, saw some old and new friends and was completely at home. then decided to go to bloody golden mile to meet seanie, whom i love with all heart and soul but not enough for me to go to GM.. only i realized that too fucking late.

the girls were on stage, seanie insisted on buying drinks for this particular girl that was fucking hideous and with not a very nice personality either. le sighh. we love each other too much to let go darling, why immigrate?!

anyway, moving on. left me to wander off myself, which eventually made me get into my own cab to send me home. for some reason, it left me thinking of how fragile relationships can be. not just between boyfriend and girlfriend, mind you, but even friendships, kinship, and a day to day acquaintance. how they can make a difference.

seanie is leaving singapore for good and that makes me wonder how much i'll bloody miss him. i've lost a lot of friends the last few years, but none compares to the the bleeding bond seanie and i share.

ANYWAY, beer, flowers, girls, kisses and hugs aside bb, i want you to know that you're one of a kind, and i'll never be able to find a replacement for you. i will always love you, regardless of where you are, xxx. for you:

girl from ipanema.

so im sitting at starbucks, fresh out of work, again. (please don't tell my parents. hahaa.)

the trip to malaysia turned out great, though the ride there was ball busting. (thanks a lot roy.) lots of foozeball, lots of alcohol, lots of dipping and sandy balls.

unfortunately, no pictures. :(

but enough about me, what has everyone been up to? the usual work and alcoholism?

i suppose with turning 21, i should now feel the need to lead the eexpected harried, hurried and haggard life of the average singaporean. but i really don't. so much for reaponsibility that comes with age.

the truth is that i really don't feel all that different. if anything, i miss the devil-may-care attitude youth inspired more than ever. how awesome would it be to be paid to do nothing?

which reminds me..

need to get another job. need to get another job. need to get another job.

know me.

good evening world, i have missed you.

have i told you how much better everything has been for me? it really is. everything's looking great.

only because you've been amazing. like the true friend you are, you never let me down when i need some solidarity.

and i don't think i've ever thanked you.

so, thank you. :]

love and other forms of recreation on a high.

today is supposed to be the day i go for my first interview, but i postponed that for the MDIS' open house, only to learn that it is, in fact tomorrow. D=

fml.


on a brighter note, will not post about yesterday (the best valentine's ever), but i will say this.

MY BOYFR IS THE
SHIT.

it's really at times like these you count your blessings and remember exactly why you are still sane in this crazy world.

till next!

p.s.: thanks again for the diamonds, butterbean!

my cherie amour.

once again another hiatus. but you all musta missed me. :]

recently has been up to more than i can handle. lost someone dear, gained a new enemy, fell out of love, fell head over heels, got transferred to another outlet at work, quit my job, etc.

of course, none of it is ever all good or all bad, but probably the most painful lesson i've learnt is never to expect anything from anyone, really.

boyfriend is a darling and i feel i don't deserve him sometimes, but i know he loves me and that's more than enough for a little girl like me. haa, the irony.

all this time a-wasted chasing after something permanent with a child, while what i really need is a MAN.

HAA.
ohh rara papaya you are insane.

but as boy would say, it's endearing (sometimes).

anyways, the last few weeks have been about finding myself and what i really want i think most will be glad to know how much i've thought things though and got everything sorted out. am now happier than i've been in the last few months and am truly glad to have gotten rid of the heaviest burden in the world.

i miss how nicely words fall beside each other. i've forgotten how good it feels to put my thoughts on a page.

this was nice, thanks.

<3