when calamari rings get broken.

i haven't been updating. i've been too busy. yes, i still haven't canged my mind about moving out, but i have calmed down. relatively.

anyways, potential girlfr has been sweet as pie of late, and i swear, it makes me miss being in a serious relationship. yes,

WHAT THE HELL.

but yes. ohh as tragic as saint bakita's childhood, it's true.

maybe i have mellowed. maybe i HAVE gone soft. horror of horrors, maybe i actually wasn't kidding about finding my conscience. SHIT.

oh gods, it's so much easier to live without, really. i need another whiskey soda or ten, maybe a few more beers, a couple of martinis, perhaps a flute of moet. maybe after that i'll come back to me.

maybe it's for the best. maybe i'm growing up after all. SIGH. the oh so familiar peter pan syndrome. why hast thou not forsaken me?

i promised to be good. i promised my new provider of white rabbit candies that i would be good from now on. if it's anyone who deserves it, it's gonna be potential girlfr. I DON'T LIKE THE FEELINGS OF GRATITUDE.

pssst, does it count as being bad if i don't share my candies?

but,

i really miss having someone

telling ME it's gonna be okay.