play me like tennis.

i really didn't feel like blogging today. in fact i still don't. but since i'm here:

KANINABEHCHAOCHEEBYE
IHATETHEWORLD.

outburst. i should really apologize but i'm not going to because, my loves, or whoever my audience has degraded to at this point, i am simply not in the fucking mood.

miraculously, i report, girlfriend and i spent time during the day being deliciously lovey-dovey and everything. but since we stepped into the motherfucking hell that we call second home, it was decidedly pear shaped.

random question, why is it always pear-shaped?

anyways.

boyfriend cheated on me. not really. just was being intimate with some random chick. not that either.

FINE.

i'll admit it. (as if anyone's asking.)

i was jealous.

there you have it folks. me. of all goddamn invincible youths in the world.

i hate that.

it's like one of those things people insist on doing that's not going to change anything. like fasting for world peace. like commemorate the victims of 9/11 with an hour of silence. like boycott KFC.

like for fuck's sake.

people are going to fight to their deaths over stupid things. the dead are not going to come back to life after years of BEING dead. chickens are still going to be eaten.

people are still going to do things to you that will hurt like crazy.

so WHY.

guess i'm normal.

i'm not trying to think of anything to say, not trying to make myself sound profound, or mushy and sensitive. it just HAPPENS.

a rant, as i like to call it. words. just words on a page that fall nicely next to each other.

call me a lunatic,
but i wish i could hear your voice like raindrops.
incoherent, soothing.
they may or may not blister my skin,
but i know i'll feel you.
if only i was brave enough.
maybe.

forgive me for repetition, which i myself loathe to the core. but really.

for fuck's sake.