trendspotting.

apparently, the year has not only been shit for me, but also for all of singapore. possibly the world. amusing, but devastatingly embarrassing things have made both annoyed and ashamed of my nationality, because of such idiocies that my fellow countrymen have claimed ownership of. this post is solely dedicated to airing my views because such is the burden of being a brilliant blogger, and this opportunity to rant is too good to miss. and so, without further ado, a rundown of all that has been going on in this circus.

the hosehbo experience:
the what would be her slapping her mother and the where would be her keeping the universe posted by declaring the life-changing experience on facebook. responses were, at least to us normal people, predictable. shockingly, miss hosehbo responded angrily.
to all that have been flaming that little shit, leave her alone. bitching and getting all riled up isn't going to change anything really. and to HSB, like hello? what do YOU have anything to be angry about. you slapped your mother and posted it on a public forum. blame your absence of a brain, oxygen thief.

the aaron tan hooplah:
boy meets girl, boy loves girl, girl leaves boy, girl loves another boy. sadly, these are everyday occurrences. now, posting a video on youtube about it, is not. 18 year old aaron tan seems to have something to prove and nobody is quite sure what it is. understandable, BECAUSE HIS ENGLISH IS MOTHER- INCOMPREHENSIBLE. unfortunately, of all people to watch this video and post a video response, a foreigner does. nothing against foreigners, of course, but this one just happened to be so rude, everyone was on aaron's side all of a sudden.
first off, why was this clip on aaron's personal rant going viral in in the first place? perhaps it is my impatience that made me cut off the video a minute or so into it, but i really didn't see anything worth my time. second, why is this holysoldierguy or whatever replying to aaron. do you KNOW him? also, why the racism man, where's the love? plus, it really is none of your bloody beeswax.
what i do not understand is what this phenomenon of singaporeans picking sides is caused by: national pride, or just plain hypocrisy. just a thought.

the SMRT debacle:
yes the trains stopped twice in two days, yes a piece of the fucking ceiling broke off and hit someone, yes people could have died. also, there are millions of people dying of starvation. planes are crashing. men, women and children alike are fighting wars in order to stay alive. serial killers are aplenty and people vanish everyday.
my point is folks, shit happens. as i was explaining to TIMMYIZKING yesterday, with an operation on a scale that large, accidents are inevitable.

there you have it. is it any wonder that i'd rather be somewhere far, far away? some advice from a shady character:

SINGAPOREANS,
YOU GUYS NEED TO
CHILL
THE
FUCK
OUT.

seriously.

hands and hearts.

apologies for my previous outburst. have calmed down significantly and am actually happy now.

spent a few hours with NATTIE and ALMO, and gods, have i missed them or? at times like these, i remember how true friends are far and few between. this outing just made me appreciate the both of you all the more, even though almo was a last minute inclusion. HAHAA.

in short, thanks boys, loved every second of it, from your jibes, to the heart-to-heart. now i can say from the bottom of my heart, merry christmas everyone. may your holiday be as fulfilling as mine in terms of rediscovering love and friendship. <3

the best form of mercy.

"do you really want to know?" he smirked. without stopping, he went on, his voice as clear and chilling as the night that i imagined swallowed us whole. "her body will decay after they put her in the ground. she will house maggots and mold, and she will smell of the dirt she lies within. the coffin will cave, and what is left of her by then, along with the chips and splinters will be lost to oblivion. as if she never existed."

i couldn't stop a tear, and then felt ashamed. after all, i hardly knew her. however, now that she was defined by her death, everything about her that i personally experienced was amplified and deafening. of course, that was because i had my part to play in this farce. my emotions and actions are at war with each other, i thought to myself, fighting the urge to gag at the bile i could feel rising at the back of my throat. the bile i could taste. as bad as i felt, nothing could prepare me for feeling worse at the breath that was my own, as it formed the words:

"then she will have nothing more to do with me."

a snippet from the book that is coming along nicely, though i doubt it will be completed any time soon. hope you enjoyed it as much as i loved dreaming it up. comments and criticism, as always, is very welcome.

just general awesomeness.

• to get a JOB.
• to sort out self. (somewhat, anyway.)
  
• clean desk.
• re-colour-code wardrobe.
• get down to putting up corkboards in room.
• install bloody blinds on window looking out into living room.
  
• to slow down on the alcohol intake.
• ditto for the cigarettes.
  
• to finish my book.
• to finish reading everything in my house twice.
• to stop checking emails every 15 minutes.
• quit the facebook addiction.
• quit stalking kim hyun joong (the one and only korean sex god.) online.
• quit stalking ANYONE online.
• watch scarface.
• and all my favourite classics.
• revisit old blog and fish out sexy lines, if any.
  
• getting over tee.

HAA.

and of course, the darling who actually did all the work.

THANKS SAM LOVE YOU VAIR VAIR MUCH. <3

where my heart used to be.

the worst stab wound is the one to the heart.
sure, most people survive it, but the heart is never quite the same.
there's always a scar, which I guess, is meant to remind you that even for a little while, someone made your heart beat faster.
and that's a scar you can live with, proudly.
all the days of your life.

as said by AUGUSTUS HILL in season 4.

if you must know, this is what love is. you know who you are. it astounds me that one can live a lie as big as that. it doesn't change how i feel about you, and i am most definitely not in any place to judge you. but i do want to help you see that by looking out of rapunzel's window and keeping your distance, you're not keeping yourself safe because you're your own worst enemy.

if there's nothing else you can take out of this, just remember everyone's got their own problems, off days, insecurities and skeletons. deal with yours because no one can keep you your happiness without your say so.

there are people who need you here.

like me.

every door i tried, was locked.

so, it's back to work on the 2nd of january. what with it being just a bit before christmas, it seems so far away. unfortunately i know from experience it's gonna close in sooner or later.

quick reflection of 2011, as it has been so far:

on the job front, three different fucked up jobs, three different fucked up employers, enough said.
on relationships, a sad ending, a beautiful beginning, a hasty departure, a bitter heartbreak, leaving a very confused girl. jaded, and unlike the last time the word has been used in this blog, i swear i'm on the verge of giving up.
on other things, a near complete waste of what could have otherwise been a productive year. sadly, what with the afore mentioned that i had to work with, it left too little of me to do much else.

although this has obviously proved to have been a turd of a year, the french is coming along nicely. i have now attained the fluency equivalent to that of a french toddler. which is still something, isn't it.

well, so ONE good thing. something to be thankful for after all i suppose.

sarah, clara and camels.

and insanity strikes again!

tuesday saw me being reminded that sometimes i forget my place. even though good intentions may exist, it doesn't necessarily guarantee the results hoped for. i may very well have pissed off a good friend of mine, but i suppose that when we have been hanging out together this long, a spat here and there is inevitable. of course, this means a cool down period is in the pipelines. le sigh, no chips for awhile then. i suppose i could live with that.

another thing, most of my friends would know by now that i have only just recently sworn off men, and have no intention of revoking that any time soon. however, as always, circumstances just are and ohh well, i may very well be on my way to falling flat on my face again.

l'amore, l'amore. you know, just for once though, i don't want to get together with someone just to have them break my heart again. then again, it's impossible to predict where this will lead me and for all i know.. MAYBE, i'll be happy for longer than a few months.

officially addicted, then.

on to other things, shall be attempting so fix the bloody blinds on my window. i've had it with the stupid translucent panels. it's driving me crazy. also, shall be putting up cork boards in room. desired result is not compulsory, because anything would be better than this hahaa.

apologies for going all over the place with this. i suppose it's a reflection of my current state of mind.

till the next update, x!

happy because.

been working on expanding my media library of late, revisiting a lot of oldies, classics, even show tunes from long ago. unearthed a whole collection that i am ashamed to admit was forgotten along with the carefree days of youth.

some of you who keep up with my shenanigans via facebook updates should have heard of my new resolution. if you haven't yet been informed, i intend to learn how to converse in basic french by the end of this year. call it what you will, but i personally believe this is a half baked, last ditch attempt to accomplish SOMETHING this year.

everyone has been going on and on about how it is december and my facebook notification inbox has been flooded by asinine comments with regards to such. to be honest, i already know what month it is, thanks very much. all it has done so far is rub in my face how abysmal this year has been and that's just bloody depressing.

enough of this pointless moping. why french you ask? well because when i think about the french and their beautiful language, i think of things like:

• romance
• culture
• fashion
• love
• freedom
• food
• art
• music
• love
• love

if these ten reasons aren't enough to convince you that this it possibly one of the most gorgeous languages in the world, i don't know what will.

on to other things, like the list. ahh yes the dreaded list.

• to get a JOB.
• to sort out self. (somewhat, anyway.)
  
• clean desk.
• re-colour-code wardrobe.
• get down to putting up corkboards in room.
• install bloody blinds on window looking out into living room.
  
• to slow down on the alcohol intake.
• ditto for the cigarettes.
  
• to finish my book.
• to finish reading everything in my house twice.
  
• to stop checking emails every 15 minutes.
• quit the facebook addiction.
• quit stalking kim hyun joong (the one and only korean sex god.) online.
• quit stalking ANYONE online.
• watch scarface.
• and all my favourite classics.
• revisit old blog and fish out sexy lines, if any.
  
• getting over tee.

am currently working on the cork boards. all that remains is actually putting them up and buying more thumbtacks and/or pins. also am thinking of putting up favorite photos up in room and therefore am needing some photo frames as well. mon dieu, so much to do and so little time. (as you can see, i am already getting a head start on the french!)

which reminds me, about time to start reorganizing my desk. i have got a calendar that's two years old on it, and for the life of me, i have no idea why.

more later, my darling ardent fans.

whenever i'm alone with you.

it's a strange,
strange situation.
i am alone.

for the first time in awhile, i haven't felt this way.
pray tell,
why, this
PAIN
why, this
caution.
i am not
some dangerous, untamed thing
people have told me
i, i am too wild.

but no, i,
i am tired today.

tonight is for rest.

electrify these boys and girls, if you'd be so kind.

alcohol was the what, le noir the where, and who comprised of everybody who was somebody. yes ladies and gents, i am now divulging the details of my latest binge.

predictably, the night started out slow, but picked up pretty quickly, all things considered. and then i spied with my little eye either a moving da vinci sculpture, or just a very handsome man, during the auction held for the benefit of under privileged children in the spirit of christmas. more on that later.

made a new friend by the name of claudie almost immediately after the charity auction (hosted by a chubby looking venetta lopez) ended, and wound up staying in her company the rest of the night. she's an insane dancer and well, just generally insane.

as the night wore on, the crowd got progressively louder and more rowdy as per the norm. enters, at this point, afore mentioned attractive specimen of the opposite sex. what was puzzling was that he appeared to be dancing (quite poorly) alone. i was as flustered as a secondary schoolgirl and was THIS close to hyperventilating. eventually, we had a dance together and i realized he was quite a prick. remind me again, WHY i insist on checking out "club property"?

but that's okayy. claudie and i were enjoying ourselves plenty and it was nice hanging out with a girl for a change. danced the night away and came home tired and worn out. a night of debauchery has been a long time coming and it's been ages since i have genuinely enjoyed myself like that. t'was a good night!

as a side note, readers of my blog should have realized by now that there are some changes to the layout. tag board's up, and thanks to a friend's suggestion, i am now a nuffie. ive increased the number of posts per page so it'll be easier to keep up with what i've been up to.

as a favor, leave your mark on the tag board, please. it would be nice to know who my readers actually are. i refuse to believe that the numbers consist of 5 friends who check out my page a hundred times a day each. thanks and lots of love.

xx!

didn't know they broke up,

but this should be worth watching!

(click that, kuttus.)

houston, we have a problem.

i love reading aunt agony letters, because i adore pretending to be an expert advice giver. though i never made a profession of revealing the core of their problems and telling them where to put it, many of my friends will tell you i dispense the greatest advice ever in the history of great advice.

here's one that i came across on the net. i felt a need to add on my two cents worth so.

yahoo! news, abigail van buren, tuesday - november 15th 2011

(someone who is harried and has cancer:)
DEAR ABBY:

I have been battling breast cancer and have been blessed to have a lot of support from family, friends and some awesome medical providers. My husband's best friend and his wife socialize with us quite often, and the friendship is important to him. I recently celebrated a birthday and these friends had us over for a belated birthday dinner. They bought me beautiful flowers and a gift. The card attached made a joke about my "aging breasts," which she found quite funny.

Abby, I had a mastectomy, which she knew about! To make matters worse, my hair has just started to grow back from the chemo, so I decided to have some highlights put in, and she told me she didn't like my new hair.

I am hurt and dumbfounded by her insensitive behavior. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time she has said things like this. How do I tell her I'm offended by her rudeness without compromising my husband's friendship with them? -- HARRIED FRIEND

(what abby said in response:)
DEAR HARRIED FRIEND:

You nailed it. The woman is insensitive -- but you said she has also made tasteless comments in the past. For the sake of the friendship between your husbands, tune her out and spend less time with her one-on-one. It's OK to tell her that her joke about your "aging breasts" hurt your feelings in light of your mastectomy, and that as your hair is growing back you thought you'd like to try something "different." However, if you use the word "offended" she'll probably become defensive, so avoid that word.

A final thought: Most people are terrified of cancer. People sometimes try to make jokes about things that make them uncomfortable in an effort to diffuse those feelings. This may be the reason the woman tried to joke about it, so don't let it cause you to carry a grudge.

(what i would have said:)
DEAR HARRIED PERSON:

this may come off as harsh, but woman, grow a pair. or a spine. bitch gotta recognize, man!

first off, she must think she's hilarious, so use humor as your weapon. for example, in retaliation to her knee-slapping aging breasts joke, you could say "well i had a mastectomy, what's your excuse?". in my opinion, such a response is not only witty, but also warranted. about what she said with regards to your 'do, your hair is your business and she shouldn't be in it. tell her so and don't be afraid of offending her. she certainly didn't care whether or not she did you. should her husband, or yours for that matter, have anything to say about it, you may feel free to smack them around a little then throw their sorry, soggy asses out on the street.

my dear lady, you had breast cancer. you're defo better than this woman and there is no reason for letting her push you around. you have a loving network of friends and family who have watched you survive chemo, so how would they feel if they saw you cheat death only so you could be this bitch's doormat? the way i see it, giving her a taste of her own bloody medicine is not just standing up for yourself. it is also giving credit to the people who care about you, and ultimately, for her own good as well.

abby thinks that most people are terrified of cancer. i'd say that's horseshit. EVERYONE, is terrified of cancer, and rightfully so. you have a lot of inner strength overcoming that hurdle love, and if this friend of yours can't respect that, she can jolly well FUCK OFF.

AND THERE'S PROOF.