baby you, have become my addiction.

i'm overwhelmed by the sudden impulse to throw myself out of the window. so many things to do, so many leads to follow up on, so much to map out. it's driving me crazy. but then i can never let tee know. much as he won't admit it, he needs someone else to be strong every once in awhile and i'm really more than happy to oblige. least i could do ainnit?

means a lot to me when he says the things he does sometimes. they can be so insightful and sensitive, like he really knows when i feel down and need some assurance. (the rest of the time i feel like strangling him.)

the last month has seen so much drama, and i quite honestly, none of that was called for. a lot of the time, i may seem detached and cold, but that's only because i don't want to get myself knotted in someone else's web of self destruction. not because i think they're problems should stay their own, but because sometime i feel terrible enough myself and i don't feel like i can take on the extra load. listening and nodding along is all very fine and well, but of late i realized that it's, more often than not, not enough.

either way, it's really starting to take a toll on me, this farce. so what else is there to do but shake it off?

rest assured,
i'll not neglect or forget,
even if i'm not there.