transitions are meant to be just that.

yesterday was filled with a myriad of emotions i thought have already become stranger to me. sympathy, love, resentment, anger, pity, empathy, confusion, shame.

maybe because the sun was too strong, and the breeze ebbed away too soon. maybe because we all felt guilty, to an extent. maybe because the stress was too much.

to be honest, it didn't really matter what the reason was. it wouldn't have changed the fact that we were all feeling the heat and hate. it was suffocating, intoxicating. everyone was spent, everyone had a long day.

amidst the confusion, the noise, the confrontation and the mess, all of it, i noticed her tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. it scared me, that one day i may be just like her.

then i realized, no. i was already just like HIM. which was wayyyyyyyyy worse.

yes, concern, love and care all came into the equation during the yelling. but maybe one of the reasons why i was so, so angry, was because i knew that it was wrong to make people hurt like that.it was wrong of me to do it too. and i was angry.

truth be told, i'm a SELF-RIGHTEOUS BITCH, and i deserve no right to voice any opinion at fucking all.

i held her hand briefly, and walked with her for a bit. i wanted to touch her.. she looked so damned sad. it was like he just pulled the world from under her feet, and that it seemed like a bigger awakening than he had. ironic. and me, i witnessed beauty in that breakdown.

anyways, after the entire episode, i went about the rest of my day as planned originally. chilling at an apartment overlooking the sea and city lights is vair vair nice indeed, i have to say. you lucky bastard. i'll take a picture of what we saw. it was beauty as well, in a different, brash way. the landscape was amazing, truly, it was. i sang like a lunatic and it made damien as happy as a fly with shit to land on.

you're late.
i just came.
and?
and nothing. i'm just late.

BUT NOTHING.
FUCKING.
CHANGES.